an unexpected letter.

I am trying to move on.

I am trying to forget the things we talked about when you called me at 1 AM two nights before you left.

(I love you, you are my best friend, write me)

(please don't forget about me).

(oh, and by the way...when I come back I don't want us to start a relationship or anything. At all. Ever.)

(cue tears, cue awkward pause, cue heart's collapse)

(YouarestillmybestfriendbutIjustdon'tthinkweshoulddothatagain).

I promised myself to never write/think/talk about you ever again.

The thought two years would do my heart good.

But, wait.

An envelope on the table:

"For New Year Kid".

(Stomach dropping, food coming up throat, hands shaking...)

Who else would write me (icouldrecognizethathandwritingfromanywhere)

I remember how much I hate you as my finger drags to rip open the envelope.

I remember how much I hate you as my eyes gulp in the plea you scrawled on christmas eve.

I remember how much I hate you as emotions chokes me at the heart and makes my skin flush.

I remember how much I hate you as my heart remember how much I loved you.


(I miss you so much it hurts. I think about you everyday. I haven't forgotten about you. I wish things were better between us before I left)

(Please don't forget about me)

You tell me you want nothing from me ever again, yet you send me an unexpected letter that leads me to believe the opposite?

twofaced hotandcold whiteandblack loveandhate closureandbroken.