Valentines disappointment... story of my life!

Well to make a long story short... I would have had a lot to say (like usual) about Valentines Day but I got to go to San Fransisco with my family and my Dad's debate team from Cottonwood. Lets just say that could have been an opportunistic Valentines situation but turns out all the debate students at Cottonwood are a little um... strange. So consequently I was alone again. A good alone though. Its good to get away with your family and strange people on a holiday like this to get your mind of things and specific people.
Let me back it up real fast and update you....
So as you know, DL (deuchelord) finished his two month cycle and came back for me. I played it Beyonce hard but even Beyonce has breakdowns I'm sure... Don't get mad yet I have a good story to back me up. I told him he better work freaking hard because I'm not going through his crap again. I said i didn't trust him and if he wanted any kind of relationship, even friendship, he would have to prove it because his word meant nothing to me anymore.

So he did just that.

Worked FREAKING hard and I fell for it again. After two weeks of him being all cutesy and flirty I finally let down a couple layers of the wall id built against him and he plowed through. (Bluntly put he asked me on a date and by the end of the night being all over me, we made out.) So 12:00 his buddy who witnessed him being completely legit all over me texted me

saying

so Beyonce, what has DL told you about him and X. I said um he says they're just friends. He replies um well i think you need to talk to him about that.... At that point I completely knew what had happened. 5 other people texted me that day confirming it so i told the X what happened the previous night. She was pissed. I was pissed. The awesome thing is that i still hadn't heard from DL since the kiss goodnight on Thursday. Saturday night when i was in Vegas i get a text saying hey... RRRR!!!

So I just bluntly asked whats going on with him and X and he says oh well we still have a thing but i like both of you.... Is that supposed to make it ok? He honestly doesn't think hes doing anything wrong... do you know what a player is because your name is in the dictionary!!! So i said a couple choice explicit words and we haven't talked since. This is two weekends now. Something crappy always happens right before Valentines that really helps me wallow in self pity.
Congratulations! You really had me going again! But this just proves how much of a DL you really are and I'm proud to say I'm really over it! Finally closure! And even better... X dumped him so now hes completely alone! That's what happens when you play Beyonce.... for the third time. oh I'm pathetic.

I'm Falling in Hate with Love

I can feel the transformation begin to take hold, to warp, to change;

I'm starting to hate Valentine's Day.

I never thought it could happen to me; all my life I watched as the people around me one by one fell away into bitter negativity, always convinced that I alone could forever remain untouched.

Well Universe, I Concede.

I now cast aside with unfeeling abandon, the girl who used the day to share her love with friends and family. The Romantic Optimist I once was has been outgrown until further notice.

For the first time, I stand with all the lonely people of the world to watch as the holiday rears it's ugly head and grins a mad, sadistic grin at those of us unlucky enough to find ourselves alone on this day of roses and chocolates.

I'm lonely and hormonal, and I just want a freaking Valentine Gosh Dangit!

Ah well, there's always next year.

(Six word post)

Valentines Day-SAD

What is it about this lame holiday that makes jewlers, candy companies, and overly priced restaurants so much money? Well, quite frankly, I hate Valentines Day. The mere mentioning of the words send my eyes rolling back into my head. This holiday is not the celebration of all those you love, let's be honest. It's a celebration for those with lovers, and a Single Awareness Day for the rest of us. So.... Valentines day is just SAD for me. (Please note the acronym) It's become the mose awkward, self esteem killing, heart stomping holiday to endure. Flowers are just flowers, chocolate is cheap, and yet here I am desperately hoping some boy, any boy, will send me a stupid valogram so I don't feel like an idiot tomorrow. Blast... could this weekend hold any more despair? It's bad enough that it's a whole day, but no... we've got to drag it out across three days!

Not that I don't have a date! I just.... have to pay for it. The sweethearts dance, how tender... oh wait I think it's pathetic. This was going to be the one year I'd actually have someone worth spending the money on. I used to think this dance should've been a boy's choice dance until I realized it was a good thing it was for girls. Think about it, a girl doesn't get asked... S.A.D. but if she doesn't go on her own volition.... poor guys. Just saying, it's a good thing. However, after much tribulation, I asked Boy. It'll be fun I'm sure.... I just, pathetically enough, wanted a sweetheart for once! I wanted butterflies at the sight of him, not stuttering out of surprise that he's talking in person to me. I wanted flowers from him, not from my loving father. (Though I still love them of course, thank you dad) But alas.... yet another stupid valentines day comes and goes. Congrats to those who have a man.

Six word: Yes I'm pathetic, what of it?