Interviews with Boys

The new welcoming video has inspired me to create my own interview for boys. I hope the answers to the questions below help you out a little, and maybe help you with your various situations....

Tell me about your first kiss:
TD-I can't even remember it.
ZZ-Truth or Dare. She was in 5th grade and I was in 6th. She still denies we kissed to this day.

How many girls have you kissed and how many of them were make outs?
TD-17 kisses and 10 make outs
ZZ-7 kisses and 5 make outs

How do you know a girl wants to be kissed?
TD-Primo instinct. It just comes to me, and I can just tell.
ZZ- There's this look on her face.

How do you know a girl likes you?
TD- Usually she just tells me. I just hate it when her friend is the one to tell me. Never have a go between!
ZZ- She just shows more interest in you than other guys.

How do you show that you like a girl?
TD- I don't, I mean I treat them all the same. I'm just really nice. If I really like a girl, I will tell her. Honesty is the best policy obviously.
ZZ- I just try to make sure she notices me more so than others.

How do you make the girl you're interested in feel special?
TD-I give her lots of physical attention. I'll give her hugs, hold her hand, put my arm around her shoulder...that sort of thing.
ZZ-Treat her differently so that she knows and feels special. I'll give her flowers or something.

How would you tell a girl you're not interested?
TD-Well I used to make sure that the girl would see me with some other girl. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Then I realized it had the opposite effect. So after I gained more "life experience" I just maintain a tight friendship boundary line.
ZZ-That's difficult. I would just tell her straight up, and I have before. I would just make it clear that I value her friendship more than anything and that I wouldn't want to ruin anything with a relationship.

What is the first thing you notice in a girl?
TD-Eyes
ZZ- It's almost physically impossible not to judge someone by their looks. As far as like mentally....she has to be open.

What is your biggest turn off?
TD-Definitely when she wears too much make up. I hate it when you can see where the foundation stuff ends right before their hairline.
ZZ-When she's fake. It's when she tries to be something she's not just to attract a certain type of person.

What is some advice you'd give to girls concerning guys?
TD- Just talk. Guys are going to be more comfortable with you if they don't have to do all the work. Never bring up your personal issues on a first date. (He gave the example of a first date he went on where the girl had said.....I hate my parents, my best friend and I are fighting, ect. He said, if she couldn't get along with all of those people, how were we supposed to get along?)
ZZ- Once you get past the bull shit, you'll learn who they really are. BS meaning the calky attitude, ect. The "front" of what they want to be perceived as. You just can't get past that in high school because both of you care too much about what others think still. (No matter how much you deny it)

What are some reasons you've broken up with girls?
TD-I've been cheated on and lied to. Also, when a girl wants to text all of the time I can't handle it. -and when she has no ambition.
ZZ-One time I didn't want to be with this girl anymore, and I was just looking for a reason to break up with her. So, when she decorated my room for Valentine's Day with glitter, confetti, ect. I told her I wanted to break up because of that. I just used it as an excuse. (*See? I think it's always something larger.) Also, I would break up if I ever felt like I was the only one making an effort in the relationship.

Tell me about an awkward kissing story:
TD-Let's just say I don't buy popcorn when I'm at a movie with a girl.
ZZ- I kissed a girl solely for the purpose to piss off my current girlfriend, so she'd break up with me. I tried to track down the poor girl I'd kissed to apologize but I never did. I honestly just really like the girl's (referring to his girlfriend) voice! She was an amazing singer!

Eye contact rule: True or False? (Referring to Sparkle Lily's....as he takes you to your door, if you make eye contact at all while you walk and talk then you'll most likely kiss)
TD- False
ZZ-False

What is your fix all when you're in trouble with a girl?
TD-I just talk to her about it. I'll listen, really listen, to why she feels the way she does, and then let her decide how she wants me to fix it.
ZZ-Flowers

First date: group or single?
TD-single, if she can't be herself around me then where would the whole thing go?
ZZ-group, it takes off some of the awkwardness.

L-Word:
TD- I don't say it unless I'm serious when i say it.
ZZ-It's completely over used. A high school student isn't experiencing real life. You see each other at school, in a class, ect. but then you have a 10 hour break from each other. You won't experience real love until there isn't any breaks, when you both have separate jobs, and you're parents aren't paying for your dates.

What's the sign for "I want to hold your hand?"
ZZ- I just brush my hand against theirs casually; I get closer and closer, and when she doesn't move away....I just grab it.

How do you show you're angry?
ZZ-I just stop talking.

Six word: So I am supposed to talk?

No more sob stories

After the strained weeks of still looking for him when I walk into a room, waiting for a call that'll never come, and having my hands feel so...dry.... I finally have moved on. I might have had a re bound---totally not worth it PS, I didn't really think you could be a bad kisser, but yes. It is more than possible!---but I've moved on! It's been atleast a 2 month process, but the guilt is gone. My pain has subsided, and I'm done. I don't even need attention from him at all; it's a great feeling I assure you.
To prove my point, I'd like to relate a story of mixed signals, black man lips (no racist connotations), and snowy nights......

His name is DFS. He's the funniest guy I've ever met. It's like he speaks in sarcasm. My favorite quote from one of our dates, "Stoplights are humans without legs." It means absolutely nothing, and yet I find it hysterical. You can go ahead laugh....now.

So once upon a time, DFS (I'm debating whether I should change it to DuFuS? Just because) Back to trying to sound mature, ahem.... I tried to be bold and I asked him on a date. We went up to temple square, by riding the tracks, and walked around. At one point he grabbed my hand and said, "Now I want you to know that I don't do this often. You should feel special because I hate holding hands, but I'm doing it for you." Now, had anyone else said this, I'd have been like, well fine! Don't hold my hand, see if I care. (Sometimes I take on the persona of a 7 yr. old) However since it was DFS, I actually found it sweet. I'd never really seen him like that; he actually seemed somewhat nervous if that's even possible for him. The evening proceeded without anything else noteworthy. We rode trax home which...I probably should have factored in MoTab concert traffic.... oh well! I guess you don't really mind when it's so crowded DFS' back is at the back of the train car.... and you conveniently end up in his arms for the duration of the 30 minute ride home. *cough*cough*It really wasn't my idea* Anyway, we just went and watched a movie till we decided to go home. I drove him home, he mocked my driving which wasn't entirely undeserved seeing as how I couldn't even get the key out of the ignition earlier....(it was my brother's car which had 4 wheel drive, it's my only defense!)

Now the story you've all been waiting for..... when I say "all" I mean CC and Freckles....
We pulled up at his house and he says, " well I guess now would be the time for me to kiss you..." Can I just remark upon how awkward I can be? Do I respond with a witty, confidently said, "yes I guess I'll let you," in the same sarcastic tone? Oh no.... I have to have a mind wipe and say, "If you want to?" in a mousy, quiet, and confused tone. Oh heavens...... we then have a short meaningless small talk that only exaggerates the fact that sometimes.... I need to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT! Enjoy the moment, if you will. Then he opens the door and says, "well I guess I'll be leaving now..." He turns for a split second, and then swivels around as he shuts the door again. My heart starts leaping out of my chest as his hand pulls my face slowly towards his, just gently..... he leans in and kisses me. Might I add that he has the biggest lips I've ever seen on any white man at all? I mean really, I didn't think it'd matter, but it does. Girls....it does. You haven't been kissed till you've been kissed by DFS. They almost... fold around yours. I can't tell if this is a good mental image or a gross one... but really it was a tender moment. We kissed a few times, and again my mind was.....blank except for me thinking constantly about how great this was because of his lips! Sometimes I can be such a...girl. As I drove away, I didn't even care that it was a snow storm outside or even that I had no idea what this meant but......it was a great night. I let out a girlish squeal of delight, unfortunately out loud (I'm embarassed to admit) as I drove away. The End.
Are you happy now CC?

And this leaves me with the condition of getting excited at every vibration...just in case it's him. I've now checked my sent box and outbox just to make sure my last message sent..... that was a side note. I now can't even feel like I'm in the room when he's there until he's acknowledged me....why must I be so pathetic?

Six word:
Pathetic heart: just got a jumpstart

Here's to you CC

First off... what is with the snails? Does that look inviting at all? Does it have any relation to boys in general? They aren't all slugs..... I should amend that sentence: They aren't all slugs ALL the time? huh.... I'll work on it.



Well, it's been a while... obviously. So here's the run down: PV &J (ironic nickname given by another friend that's a guy) lasted 5 months... with only one break up in there, and we were only broken up for what? 3 days? Anyway....



So during the relationship, everything was great! It was like our hands were like puzzle pieces, they just fit. We'd be able to just sit quietly and yet leave like it was a great conversation. I didn't feel insecure when I was with him because, well.....I was too focused on the fact that I loved and adored him. Yes.... that's right, I loved him. I truly and sincerely believed that I was in love with him. Unfortunately, when you experience such a great high....you've got to come down sometime. So, at the first break up.....



I thought we'd come to clear up some miscommunication or something. I figured our conversation would end on a relationship strengthening note. Ha. nice try Red Tulip, you were wrong yet again. As it turns out, he's here to stab a hidden dagger into your heart, twist it, and then do it over and over again as he tells you he loves you....he's just starting to lust after other girls. "It's nothing you've done! It's all me." Bull. He started crying. Oh my hell, okay so then I start crying. (Don't judge, my heart had just been shattered by a wrecking ball) As my tears slid silently down my face, the sobs started to build up. I couldn't tell if I wanted to stay with him or run as fast as I could, away. I didn't care where, just away from this pain, hurt, and anguish. I chose to stay. Why? Because the one person I wanted to comfort me -tell me it was all going to be okay, and that there are good things coming from this...! -yeah....he was right in front of me. I'd invested everything into this! Never had I put myself out there, no... never had I ever put my heart out there. Well, he comforted me sure... but it was a "we have to be friends. I can't lose you, I still love you." PV &J, do you fetching hear yourself? The sobs broke through the iron barrier I'd set up and I simply snapped. A few more words, and we parted ways.



Never had I ever felt so.... worthless, undesirable, and (I'd really like to swear here, because it seems appropriate....) crappy. These were things I'd never even thought I had a problem with! I was miserable to say the least. To make matters worse, he still called me. I saw the caller ID, and I couldn't not answer, I mean it was him. Him, who I'd let see a side of me no one else had, the person who, with one look could either cheer me up or tear me down. Small talk is really hard to come up with when it's just a ante-conversation for the after-break-up-talk.


Fast forward to 2 days later.


He calls me up, and leaves a voicemail. Something was wrong and I knew that just from his voice, a skill I'd aquired through out the past time that I hadn't even noticed passing. I called him back. He said everything my shriveled up heart wanted to hear. "I still love you, Everything was a mistake, I knew the moment I got in my car...." Words that were left meaningless as I tried to recall them to him a mere month later. We met up at the place we broke up....oh the irony of that spot. He was playing a song on the guitar, a song he'd wrote to express the pain he'd been feeling all weekend. I sat there awkwardly for the first time with him, and I didn't know what to do. He said everything I wanted to hear and more but now was the time.... get back together and relinquish my hold on everything I stood for? (I'm refering to Sparkle Lily's situation with TS. You just don't go back.) or.... wallow in my misery when everything that had made me happy for the past few months was sitting right in front of me. I felt like I needed to think, but the time to answer was now! What do you think I chose? It is after I made my decision that yes, we'll get back together, that he informs me of some of his activities throughout the past few days. Turns out he'd kissed another girl. Mind you, this is the girl he dumped me for? "I just needed someone to talk to, and I couldn't talk to you so...." Bull. Regardless, I must inform you that he lied to me about this multiple times. First story: They didn't kiss. Second story: We just kissed quick twice, it was like kissing a brick wall. Third story: Okay, so it wasn't short, but it wasn't a make out! Fourth, and final story: Yeah, we made out.


Don't ask me why I still went through with it. And no, I wasn't smart enough not to kiss him that day either.


Doesn't matter, because it only lasted another month.....a few days after homecoming. I didn't even cry in front of him that time. He sure did, but I stayed dry. (Same spot PS) And that is the story of PV&J. (Note: he comes from the post on prom in may? I think)





Here's my six word: He cried while breaking my heart.





(I'm putting a six word memoir with every post from now on, just for your information.)

I would also like to note that now he's the one being played by a girl who's currently playing 4 other guys... just saying.... go karma!

Welcome!

New to the Boy Blog?

Check out this Official Welcome Video, then The Manifesto here!

I forgot how much I like blogging about boys

My stories these days are funnier than they were a year ago and MUCH more G-rated. Forgive my previous promiscuity.

Story #1... From the mouth of a stranger.

I was walking down the hall to TV/Video Production a week or two ago feeling a little down on my appearance that day. I know, I know, beauty is only skin deep... a piece of wisdom, ladies... beauty might only be skin-deep, but ugly goes CLEAR TO THE BONE. It was amid this less-than-beautiful day that I heard the words "I love you" come from a young man near me. I didn't think he was talking to me. I looked over. Oh. He was talking to me. I gave him the most quizzical of all quizzical looks and paused. "And you look beautiful today," he quickly added. My quizzical look broke into a genuine, relieved smile. "Thank you!" I said gratefully. I walked into TV/Video Production feeling more confident than before. I'm telling you, it doesn't matter if it's a complete stranger. The words "I love you" and "you look beautiful" are the keys to success.

Story #2... I have a stalker.

He's half Mexican, half Italian. Racism aside, it's like a drug lord met the Mafia. I met him about a week ago at the school where I'm taking my medical assisting class. It started as a simple conversation. He was taking the EMT class with a friend of mine who sometimes comes into my classroom. I was helping them study for a test being my usual charming self. Maybe I should have been more alert on stalker-watch, but do I really have to act less charming to protect myself from the possible advances of stalkers? He didn't even seem to have stalker potential at first. I became suspicious for the first time when he used to words "Euphoria" to describe meeting me. I felt like I missed something important. He had my number. (Yes, I gave it to him. I thought he was a friend of a friend, OK?)

The next day, he was texting me asking when we were going to hang out. I explained that I had class that night (like most nights) until 9, plus a ton of homework, plus school early the next day. He replied with, "I was thinking about 8." I didn't bother texting him back. He had NO REASON to be at the school that night, but around 8, he wandered into my classroom. He asked me when I'd be done. "Um... I had an hour left of class." He sat next to me and TALKED TO ME while I tried to study for an hour. I told him I had homework. I said maybe we should do something another day. My subtle hints weren't getting through. When I went out to my car to leave, he followed me a little bit, then stayed at the curb. I started pulling out and he walked right up to my car. I assumed I'd forgotten something. I tried to roll down my window, but it was iced over. I put my car in park, which automatically unlocks the door. HE OPENED THE DOOR, SAT DOWN, AND ASKED, "So where are we going?"

Usually I'm really good in situations like that. Usually I would have the sense to tell him to get out of my car, I was going home. But I froze. I don't know that I've ever been so scared in my life of another person (with a few exceptions). I decided to play it cool, a tactic Peyton failed so miserably at when dealing with her stalker in One Tree Hill. "Well," I said smoothly, "I have to go grocery shopping." (LIE.) So I drove to Albertson's. There were a million questions in my head. Was I supposed to give him a ride home? Did he misunderstand the words "I have so much homework?" If THAT didn't deter him, shouldn't "I'm 17 and in high school," have done the trick? In Albertson's, I bought exactly one apple and a 3-hole punch. He wanted to know where we were going next. He suggested we go to Burger King to talk. I don't have ANY idea what he was thinking. Burger King's environment is not conducive to the wooing he might have deluded himself into believing he was doing. It was nearly closing. He didn't even buy any food. Instead, he chose a table in the back corner and told me about his job at the auto shop, his favorite video games, the car accident he got into a few month back. Then the cherry on top. He told me that I was the only person he talked to.

Oh. My. Stars. The warning bells were going crazy. I wanted to use an excuse, but my mind was blank. He already knew I didn't live at home and never had a curfew. I had nothing to tell this guy who apparently hadn't spoken to another human being in years and fell in love with the first girl to talk to him. I can decipher between lonely and just straight-up creepy, and this guy was just straight-up creepy. I was so scared, an emotion I feel rarely. Finally he agreed to leave Burger King, but wanted to keep driving around. It was thankfully only a minute or two later that my 12 year-old pseudosister EAS (those of you who know my living situation understand who I'm talking about) called me to find out where I was and when I'd be home. We have a code that means "Tell me to come home." When we say the weather is bad, it means get me out of here. If it's good, it means that we're having a good time.

EAS: Who are you with?

CC: A friend... But the weather is bad. Or, at least the roads are.

EAS: *blank expression. obviously didn't catch on.* So... when are you going to be home?

CC: I don't know, when do you want me home? (A little more forcefully that time.)

EAS: Let me ask my mom... (MOOOOOM! When do you want CC home?)...... She says she wants you home now since you were up all night.

CC: Oh I'm so sorry! I'll be there as soon as possible!

Can I just say that my pseudomom has NEVER enforced a curfew on me EVER? I was so grateful I started LAUGHING after I dropped Stalker off at his car. There's so much more creepiness. Unsettling texts. Incessant phone calls. I feel a little cautious all the time. Now I'm about to head off to my class hoping he's not WAITING FOR ME IN THE PARKING LOT (which he would TOTALLY do). Seriously, I don't know what to tell him. I said I liked someone else. His response? "I'm going to keep bugging you anyway because I like you." There is determination, and there is obsession. He crossed the line.

Story #3... Yet another confession of love. I must make one hell of an impression.

I had been left at church by my usually-chaotic pseduofamily on Sunday (yesterday). I had no ride, so I was mingling with a woman I knew for thirty minutes hoping she'd offer me a ride. A guy I know from school (who I've spoken to a grand total of five times counting today) heard me say I had no ride. We'll call him Shawn Jeltzer for the sake of the story. He offered me a ride. I gladly accepted. The snow was a foot deep outside and I didn't want to walk. There was small talk exchanged in the car until out of the blue, he threw out "I sort of have a crush on you." And I'm feeling like the conversation just went, "Yeah I liked my sixth grade teacher too, and I don't play basketball very well, and I had math with him last year, and I sort of have a crush on you, and I love snow too, and..." My tried and true reaction to such a statement? "You're a sweetheart. Well, this is where I live! Thanks for the ride!"

Boys are ridiculous. That is all.

Yes Girls ~ The Challenge

Rules: Say YES to everything
with the following exceptions-

1. If it goes against your morals/beliefs in any way (i.e. you find it offensive or questionable, if it makes you feel guilty or uncomfortable, even if it's just a one time thing).

2. If it conflicts with something better/necessary/urgent (i.e. you can't be in two places at once; prioritize).

3. If it sounds stupid, it is stupid. Don't do anything you would regret the next day/month/year (HINT: If you wouldn't feel comfortable telling your girlfriends about it, it's probably a bad idea).

Three simple rules to keep you in check as you embark on the Adventure of a Lifetime.

Every time you say yes, even if you have your doubts, something will happen to make it worth your while. Try it out.

(Authors note: This is not some cheesy forward I got off an email; this is an experiment I tried this summer. It was the best summer of my life.)

oh the DRAMA!

Hello everyone! this is my first post since the boy blog has been up and running again. i am so freaking excited and i have much to say.... last summer was boring. altho a certain person we will call J.H. told me he liked me. that all great and everything except for the fact i had no feelings for him whatsoever. he moved on and we stayed best friends until football season when he started dating this cheerleader. it really pissed me off. i started to have feeling for him, or so i thought, so i told him i liked him and he basically dumped the other chick and told me he never stopped liking me. SCORE!!! anyways it was fun and all until a week later when he kissed me and sad to say i felt nothing I REPEAT NOTHING! i feel awful saying this but you know how you feel that great feeling in the pit of your stomach... no that definitely wasn't there. very sad. i tried to ignore it for a while but you can only ignore something like that for so long. when your thinking about how much better this other guy --T.S. -- is at kissing while your kissing your boyfriends and how you would really like to kiss T.S. right now, you know you should probably break up with him... so i did... very sad the next night i hung out with T.S. and he told me he liked me ugh! --- here is the side story this is the same T.S. who has cheated on me dozens of times. --that night we laid on his brothers bed listening to Damien Rice with the lights off... it was so hard not to kiss him! i knew i shouldn't because one i just broke up with J.S. and we were still going threw that "maybe we could work it out" stage although i knew there was no hope. and two i didn't want to give him what he wanted because i knew what was on his mind.

So now i am stuck in this situation. me and J.S. are pretty good although he is still a little bitter because all i told him when i broke up with him was that "i wasn't feeling it anymore" which was true i just didn't tell him i never did. and me and T.S. went to a movie last night and cuddled. what do i do?!?! i cant go back to the loser who has cheated on me a billion times! but what you need to understand is that i have never been so attracted to someone. i don't know if this is normal but i seriously get that feeling in my stomach when i just stand by him... imagion kissing him! it so annoying! well ill let you know what happens next in my pathetic life haha... later

sparklelily

oh and just as an fyi this is the same T.S. who gave me the giant down comforter which i still have haha.... if you forgot look under 2009-march-The breakup ... finally... it will tell the whole story :)

New Book Announcement

New Book: The Treasure Map of Boys by E. Lockhart is now out. For those of you newcomers to The Boy Blog, E. Lockhart's book "The Boy Book" was the primary inspiration for the beginning of this blog. I highly suggest it.

As for my fellow writers... where are you girls?

A RE-DECLARATION of lip virginity... why does this always happen to me?

Since my last post, I have cause to re-declare my lip virginity. How many times can you do that, you ask? Let me tell you. As many as it takes. As many as it takes until you've directed yourself past the candy aisle of Wal-Mart into the safer haven of the vegetable section where temptation is far and few. I'm hoping my slip-ups are reaching an end, because last night I realized that I'm wading into deep of end of deception where One Tree Hill has got me thinking that true love could be around any corner. Lip-locks have got to start meaning something or I'm wasting my time.

It may have just started raining. *Sigh.* Time to go dance and wait for my knight in shining armor to take me into his arms and - damn. Stupid TV shows, getting my hopes up.

Born Again Virgins

One Tree Hill. The source of a large amount of inspiration for my life. A TV show to be revered above (nearly) all others. The keystone to my soul.

The most recent gem of inspiration I've been bestowed with is the notion of being a Born Again Virgin. Except in my highly sheltered life, I'd like to refer to myself as a Born Again Lip Virgin. After seeing a certain episode of One Tree Hill involving a club full of Born Again Virgins, I was running when I made the startling discovery that I'm not particularly proud of any of my lip-locks. I haven't done a lot of lip-locking in recent months, and I don't see any reason I can't just... start over.

It can equated to starting a race and tripping after just a few meters and then beginning again at the starting line. Or a do-over in "not it" before playing hide and seek. Or a new haircut after breaking up with your boyfriend to prove that you simply don't care what he thinks anymore even though you really do even after trying smooch therapy to help yourself move on and - sorry. Red Tulip came up with that part. If you see her with a new haircut, make sure to be understanding.

Back to the idea of lip virginity renewal... this is me kissing a few guys, feeling cheated out of a good experience, and then stopping the game and clicking "Start Game Over." I reserve the right to tell anyone who asks that I have never been kissed, although I might have to be careful about who is around when I brag about my lip virginity because publishing your scamming experiences on the web means that there are a lot of people who could call me on my bluff... Regardless! I shouldn't have to regret foolish decisions I made in my youth. Speaking of which! It's good to be back on the blog. The new URL name is taken from a song from Moulin Rouge and seemed to be a good title for starting over and renewing our Boy Blog vows. Welcome back.

Dating Family...ish

What do you do when you go on a date with a member of your best friends family? What if it gets awkward? It's not like you can just say, "Oh well, I'll never see you again." Because you will! All the time! And then you're friend will be all like, "So.... How's that going?" or "You like my family member..." I know.. Awkward. Crushing is one thing. Dating is a different matter. NOT THAT I'M DATING ANYONE! Or even LIKE them... It was just one date. I swear... Just the best date I've ever been on...

But seriously guys. It was an awesome date. And the best part is he has continued speaking to me. And we really get along! And he regularly wants to hang out with me. Gah! I feel stupid and girly and squealy.. Which was NOT the plan. The plan was to just not like boys for a while. After the whole weirdness with Cedar boy..

The other thing is that Alice's(Pseudonym) family member is way too good. You know? He's the guy that you're Mom says, "You should write him on his mission and then get married and give me loads of grandchildren." Not that my Mom has actually said that.. Ok just the bit about the mission.

So the point of this is.... Something.. Don't read to much into this. I just like rambling! Okay! Stop hassling me!

Vicious Cycle

Girls are mean. Girls lead on guys. Girls break hearts for fun. We’ve all heard this before, but where in the world did this idea come from?

The 2004 production of the movie “Mean Girls” accurately portrays the popular stereotype of the modern day beautiful yet heartless woman. As far as I know, however, this woman is basically mythical. Never once, in all my nineteen years, have I heard any girl say to another anything along the lines of, “I just found out that so-and-so likes me; I think I’ll string him along for a little while before chewing him up and spitting him out,” or seen one sitting back and relaxing with some book maliciously titled, “Manipulating Males for Fun and Profit.”

In fact, if they were to learn that a guy they knew was interested in them and after a while they found they didn’t return that interest, they would do absolutely everything in their power not to hurt his feelings. Why, then, do these girls have such disagreeable reputations? I found the answer in my freshman year of high school.

One of my best friends had found herself head over heels in love with a boy in our class. Little did I know that soon enough I would find myself up to my eyeballs in drama. Sure enough, the moment she began operation ‘I Like You,’ I was strapped into an emotional rollercoaster that would last the rest of the year. She started with friendly conversation, then flirting, then hanging out, then Friday nights at the movies, then Prom, all to no avail. He still seemed to be blind to her advances. After months of desperation, she tossed subtlety to the winds and sent him a text informing him that she was in love with him and begging him to react. When this final act failed to force him into action, we decided that the only plausible conclusion was that he was simply a mean-hearted jerk who had been knowingly leading her on all year.

It still wasn’t until the next time that I heard the familiar dilemma, “I keep trying to let him know that I’m not interested, I’m giving him all the signs, but he just won’t get it! Boys are so dumb!” that it finally clicked. Our freshman heartbreaker hadn’t been leading her on at all; he had been doing everything he could to let her know that yes, he noticed her feelings and no, he didn’t feel that way at all. The only problem was that he had taken a leaf out of the official “How to be a Girl Handbook” and chosen subtlety as the best means to let her down easy. He had been giving her all the signs (avoiding eye contact, never beginning conversations, keeping other friends around at all times, etc), but she wasn’t getting it because they were so irrationally subtle!

Girls are so dumb.

The revelation that we nice girls created the mean girl stereotype through our efforts to avoid it was mind-boggling for me. People think we’re mean because we treat guys so indifferently for so long, which we do to try to let them down as easily as possible, which we do so people don’t think we’re mean girls. Life is cruel.

Since this lesson, I have adopted “Honesty is the best policy” as my motto. When an uninteresting guy seems interested, I avoid subtlety as much as is reasonable, and while there is still the occasional boy for whom “I want you to stop talking to me and following me around” still doesn’t quite get the message across, I’ve found a great deal more success with this route. I may very well have still developed a reputation for rudeness, but at least it’s because I have actually been rude on occasion and not because I’ve just been way too nice.

YES YOU ARE AT THE BOY BLOG!!!

Hello Ladies!

As you can see, renovation have begun on the Boy Blog. To answer a few of your questions...

1. The Look: No this isn't how it's going to look. This is temporary, although it might be a month or so.

2: Privacy: The blog is currently set on a privacy setting, which means that only the AUTHORS can view it. While I am creating pseudonyms for EVERY PERSON we've ever mentioned on the blog, I'd like to keep this on the safe side. This will only be another week or so. Sorry!

3. New e-mails and log-ins: You will have new e-mails and log-ins before you know it. I can give you all the information you need if you text me or e-mail me at my new BOY BLOG E-MAIL: cclemon.careandkeepingofboys@gmail.com. I have already set them up; I am now working on the long and arduous process of transferring ALL of the old posts to the new log-ins. That's why I need your information BEFORE I give it to you. After I give you your gmail for the Boy Blog, you will never post from another e-mail again, NOR WILL YOU EVER USE ANY REAL NAMES AGAIN.

You can e-mail me with questions! It's way past my bedtime... So, goodbye!

Stupidity

Avert your eyes. What have you done?!

Green and red m&ms to the right...... microwave behind him......sink to the left.... Gosh, why can't there be anything, ANYTHING to distract us from the current conversation!

I promise, this is not what I came for. Guilt is beginning to seap through my skin, leaving it burning.... Burning I tell you! I shouldn't even feel guilty, and yet here I am sick in my stomach. Actually no, stomach is too small. I feel sick everywhere! We just barely started talking again for heaven's sakes! You have a girlfriend, so I thought it'd be fine. Yeah, this is where I rightfully take on the "stupidity" title. How am I going to tell Him about this later?

Why did we break up all those months ago? Because the "we" sucked. That's why. "We" didn't work. Remember how we've had this conversation? I swear my only intentions were help on math.

Oh course I still care about you.... just not in a way that you'd like. Too bad his response to my unfinished comment is, "Well even now, sitting here I still think I like you." Yeah..... (oh crap.) And your girlfriend is WHERE? Oh wait, you're the paranoid one.

Well uh, time for a subject change! Time to LEAVE! Oh wait, I forgot my backpack at your freakin house.

The Choice

I stare at the heap of old, greasy looking french fries stacked high on the plate in front of me, and nervously brush the crumbs off my fingers as I consider the question I've been asked. I glance around the restaurant, briefly skimming over the cheesy western decor and the old men chatting with the saggy waitresses in their dirty wife beaters; it's all just too cliche.

This is in American Fork? I think.

My brief scan ends at a pair of ice-blue eyes still looking into mine, staring with the kind of intensity I'd all but forgotten they were capable of. A reminder that he is still waiting for me to answer his question.

Why did we break up?

As I reconsider the question, the irony of the sudden role reversal silences me. It takes me back to another beautiful, sunny day in another restaurant where we sat across the table from each other, just like this, and I stared into his eyes, and I nervously brushed the crumbs from my fingers, and I asked him, why did we break up?

I looked into his blue eyes, certain that he could see that I was dying inside, that my whole life was crumbling. And he sat there and looked at me, with pity in his eyes.

Now I'm looking at him, that same question hanging in the silence between us.

I can see that he is dying inside, that his whole life is crumbling.

I look at him, and I have nothing to say. Nothing, but what he had said to me.

I don't know.

I don't know, I say, but it's right.

His pained blue eyes finally release me from their hold. I notice that I have gotten crumbs on my fingers again. I brush them off. I pick up the sandwich on my plate, reconsider, then put it back down. I have crumbs on my fingers.

Now he wants to know where we stand with each other. It's a valid concern, I think. Yes, darling. Let's determine the relationship, one last time. For old time's sake, shall we?

brush, brush, brush,

Should we still see each other? Should we still call, text, email? He says he can tell that I don't want to see him any more. I tell him that I couldn't begin to heal until I learned to let go.

I don't know which will hurt worse, he says.
Giving you up now, or losing you bit by bit, watching you slowly pull away from me.

We hold each others gaze, him seeking reassurance, both of us knowing that I can't give it. Choose the one that hurts the shortest, I tell him.

He sits next to me, a thousand miles away, falling apart at the seems, staring at his hands. I stare at his eyes. Our first baby was going to be a little girl, named Alice. She was going to have light, curly hair and her daddy's eyes; that same, piercing ice blue...

Look away. Breathe in. Breathe out. Brush the crumbs off your fingers.

So this is the last time we will see each other.

Yes.

A pause.

I should probably go now.

I stand up to see him out. He asks if he can hug me. I answer by wrapping my arms around him, one last time. It's the familiar embrace that has communicated all our goodbyes, hellos, and in-betweens for years.

We cling to each other. A minute passes. The other diners politely avert their eyes from the scene taking place amidst them. I don't let go; I want him to be able to know that in the very end, when it came right down to it, he was the one to let go, to take the first step into the rest of his life without us. Two minutes pass. I lose track of time. I let go.

As I pull away, I plant a single kiss on the side of his face. He gently turns my face with his hand, and places a single chaste kiss on my own, tear-stained cheek.

I will always love you, he whispers in my ear.

Nothing will ever change that. 

.....................................................................................................................................................

I lay across the grass. I can see the sun through my eyelids. I can feel it drying my face, warming me, lighting the world and bringing the earth back to life.

And I know that, for once, I made the choice that will hurt the shortest.

Prom

I've been asked to prom by Paul. No, not CC's Paul. (There must be something in the name.) As such, I am nothing but estatic to go with him! Seriously, I get a butterfly-in-my-stomach sort of feeling everytime I think about it. (Okay, call me cheesy, it's okay) Anyway, so then I start to think it through. Because of course, I am Red Tulip and over think anything and everything.

So I start thinking....

I have come to three possible reasons why Paul has asked me:

• Paul is my friend, and wanted to go to prom with a friend.

Why this is likely.... Paul is sweet, charming, charismatic, and... very flirtacious. Girls can't help but atleast think about liking him. Paul however, probably thinks nothing of it. He's easy going most of the time.

• Paul genuinely likes me, and wanted to go to prom because this is his "way of showing it." Because as previously stated on this blog... you just don't talk to boys about your feelings. Basically, this has never even been a subject topic for us.

Why this is unlikely... Look at the description above under my first conclusion. Need I say more? I'll expound... It's like he sends mixed signals. (What a shocker! Close the open mouth please)

• Paul thinks, okay maybe even knows, that I sort of, kind of, okay probably like him. I'm so confused, I don't even know myself. Anyway, so he asked out of pity or just to be nice.

Why this is extremely likely... I didn't think I was the type of girl to show a guy that I liked him, not until I had atleast a hint to what he was thinking. But, apparently a lot of people say they can see it. CRAP. That goes against my personal code or what not. I'm really leaning towards this option, not because I'm pessimistic, but realistic. I mean honestly....

Anyway, those are my conclusions. I'm going to pretend like I didn't think this through at all, and have a good time regardless. Like I said... butterfly feeling, I swear!

Love Me or Leave Me

We had just met and you said I was beautiful
all that you said made me think you were wonderful
and we stayed up all night
and we talked about life
and you told me I was
beautiful

And then came that party, I met all your friends
there were pretty girls as thick as air
and the longer I stayed
the clearer it became
that you couldn't see me there

Don't treat me like I'm special if I'm not
and never will be
my heart just cannot take another shot
of jealousy
don't look at me like I'm your world
then look that way at another girl
I deserve better
don't have to believe me
but I can't live like this
so love me
or leave me

You say that I'm smart, I can tell that you mean it
you tell me I'm funny, I know you believe it
you're the kind of guy
who cannot tell a lie
and you don't know that you're
beautiful

But don't treat me like I'm special if I'm not
and never will be
my heart just cannot take another shot
of jealousy
don't look at me like I'm your world
then look that way at another girl
I deserve better
don't have to believe me
but I can't live like this
so love me
or leave me

And don't
make me laugh so much
and don't
smile when we touch
and don't
tell me that we can be friends
when it either begins or it ends

And don't treat me like I'm special if I'm not
and never will be
my heart just cannot take another shot
of jealousy
don't look at me like I'm your world
then look that way at another girl
I deserve better
don't have to believe me
but I can't live like this
so love me
or leave me

Sober

Hi. My name is Alice and I'm a love-aholic. I have been clean now for two months and six days.

Hi Alice.

I haven't cried myself to sleep in weeks. I have made new friends. I've been on dates. I've had endless fun. I'm terrified of being alone. I have given my number to a dozen boys in the past two weeks alone. I do what I want. I feel sexy. People like me. I hang out with guys. I talk to strangers.

I'm terrified of being alone.

Today I was hanging out with the guy I've been spending pretty much all my time with since we met a week and a half ago. A genuinely nice guy who's fun to be around and made me happy. His sense of humor is about a thousand miles from family friendly, and he's the playboy poster child for the NCMO movement (Non-Committal Make-Out). When he's not calling me Lissers, he's calling me 'Rated G.' I promised myself when we first met that I wasn't going to fall for him.

Today as we were driving somewhere, he put his arm around me, causing my eyebrows to raise. I'm not generally comfortable with pretty much any kind of physical contact with the opposite sex. I glanced over and noticed that his other arm was around the two girls on the other side of him, causing my eyebrows to lower considerably. I realized that what I minded was not the arm around me, but the arm around the other girls.

I removed his arm from my shoulders.

I don't think I'm going to hang out with him anymore.

Feelings = Don't Tell Boys!

CC talking about how boys don't need to know what we discuss on here made me think of this, so I'll just write it out for you. Boys are the worst people to talk to about feelings. No matter who the boy is, it doesn't make a difference. Unless that boy is gay or Aren Muse, but that doesn't even count.

Story: An example that I have involves Dustin (Weird, I know) when I tried to break up with him the first time last May. I told him why I wanted to break up and how I felt about everything, might I add I was balling the whole time, and he just laughed at me! I found it incredibly rude. Who laughs at the feelings of a person that you care about? That doesn't even make sense. He continued to tell me how what I was saying was stupid. First he laughs at me, and second he pretty much said I was stupid. Seriously? I gave up on telling boys things after that.

Advice: Don't tell boys your feelings. It never works. Tell your friends and the blog. :)

I Sit Here and Laugh

I would just like to announce the fact that Matt Richards asked me to prom... maybe two weeks ago? And FYI... it was through a text. Normally I wouldn't care, but he's just being... [INSERT OWN ADJECTIVE]

I told him no.

He's now asked maybe 5 girls after me? I just sit here and laugh.... really, really, really hard!

People Change

People change, lollipops turn into cigarettes, the innocent ones turn into sluts, homework goes in the trash, mobile phones are being used in class, detention becomes suspension, soda becomes vodka, bikes become cars, kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from a boy were cooties? Your worst enemies were your siblings, race issues were about who ran the fastest, war was only a card game, and the only drug you knew was cough medicine? When wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut, the most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? ... And we couldn't wait to grow up.-----I got it in a forward so I don't know who made it up. But I really liked it. :)


Here is another forward that I got:

I have learned that saying "sorry" doesn't cut it, being happy isn't always easy but it's always worth it, if you keep going back to that one person that hurts you, it's not their fault anymore. Saying "I love you" and actually loving someone are completely different. To be smart, you need to make your share of mistakes. Drugs and alcohol change who you really are. The people that are best at hiding their feelings are usually the ones that are hurting the most. Everything you know now could be gone in the morning. Money really doesn't buy love. When you move you really find out who your true friends are. Lying gets you absolutely nowhere. Your family won't always be there for you. It's important not to judge people, you don't know what they've been through to make them who they are today. Big things come in small packages (every time I read that one I think dirty. :/ I can't help but laugh). Smiles are contagious. You can't make someone happy if you aren't happy. No matter what the situation is, it could always be worse. Complaining gets you nowhere. You learn something new everyday.

Prom Report

I went to my old school's prom tonight... WITH A DATE. Yes, CC got a date and went to a dance. Who's Little Miss Suzie High School now? When you are asking a guy to prom, a typically guy's choice dance, you have to be careful who you ask.

I always make the first move. I used to think it was because I was ugly or stupid or unappealing and THAT'S why I always had to make the first move... but I've come to the conclusion that guys are just really intimidated by me. And that's the way it's going to be. (Sparkle, I wasn't lying when I said that you shouldn't introduce me to your guy friends - they will DISAPPEAR when I'm around. What can I say? I have more balls than most guys I know. Hm... that didn't come out like I meant it to.) I felt pretty confident with my choice to ask Riley.

Riley. 18 years old. Jenn's friend. Met him at a bonfire last weekend. We cuddled. I swear that's as far as it went. Seemed sweet. Smart. Good idea. Good plan-making. Good impression on my friends. Pretty good date experience. Not so good date person. Sure, he opened doors and walked me to my doorstep. Sure, he wasn't afraid to actually dance. But after a few hours, I was just so sick and tired of hearing him talk about himself!

But that's not actually who I wanted to talk about! I know I've talked about Wendle before, such as an experience in a certain dark corner of a gym last spring that never turned in to anything more than just an experience in a dark corner. But Wendle never ceases to grab my attention. Tonight, he grabbed me during a slow song before my date got to me and pulled me outside.

It was raining.

To hell with rationalization. Marry me, Wendle. Okay, for reals though, he told me that he'd been dancing with other girls out there too. But I'm sure I'm different. You know why? Because I stole his lip virginity last spring and he's never going to get that back! Mwahahahahaha. Anyway, I was dancing in the rain with Wendle. I was so infinitely happy I didn't know what to say. I was even too happy to think about kissing him! Also, I had a date, so I couldn't kiss him. (I kept reminding myself that I had a date over and over. Like every five seconds - "Wait Wendle! I have a date!" But seriously folks.)

Wendle rocks my world. Here is why. Last year when he would walk me to my cousin's house after school, he showed me a rope swing that we ended up playing on for a long time. (Plus 5 points.) He has never been afraid to be himself. He doesn't try to impress anyone. He has always and will always rock out at dances. (Plus 8 points.) No matter who he's friends with, he keeps a generally real grasp on longer term decisions. (Plus 5 points.) He kissed me in the corner of a gym at a school dance just because I wanted to and there was no weirdness after and our friendship was completely unaffected. (Plus 8 points.) He brought me out to dance in the rain NOT because he knows girls think that's romantic, but because it feels good to dance in the rain, dammit! (Plus 10 points.) On the downside, my mom thinks I should date Wendle. (Minus 25 points.)

Great night.

(Added 1/20/2010: Here are the facts. No matter how many times I think how great Wendle is, he ALWAYS does something that makes me want to bash his head into a wall! And frankly I'm not attracted to him. The perfect guy always has those issues...)

You Never Could

Today I miss the way you'd kiss
my hand when I was mad at you
Tonight I miss the way your eyes
would look at me and see right through
my soul, how you could always make me laugh
you put up with my family on my behalf
how locked in your embrace I'd always felt so right
and how we'd always end up on the phone all night

But I will never ever miss the way
you always had to be a couple hours late
and how you never called me

I miss how you would smile nervously
when I saw you stare at me
I miss the ways we spent our days
and how you said I set you free

But I will never ever miss the nights
I laid awake still crying from our latest fight
and how you never called me
And I will never miss those awful days
I came to you and you just pushed me away
how you looked right through me

I'll never miss the way you never could miss me.

On nights like these I cannot seem to stop these tears
You understand just why my head is a mess
when at the end of all those perfect broken years
you left me waiting in that long white dress...

And I still miss the way you'd kiss my hand
when I was mad at you
but please don't try to call me

I'll never miss the way you never could miss me.

My Life is Boring

Wow guys, your last posts were so funny I started laughing out loud in my computer room in front of my sister who now thinks I'm stupid for laughing at a computer screen.

I can't believe that Morp story... It was definitely different on my end when I talked to Jada... He part must have come in after he dropped you off, Freckles! And Red Tulip's story of Matt was priceless and so much better when you wrote it then you told me in person. Matt is an interesting boy who I really think is after one thing in life.

Well ever since breaking up with Taylor, my life is completely boring with nothing to tell... except sadly I'm stupid and I miss him :( I'm so gay and retarded, I know. Who wouldn't miss a freaking 6 pack going off to NATIONALS TO WRESTLE! He is quite amazing... But so not worth it... at least that's what I keep telling myself. Maybe you were right, CC, and I like him more then I think... However I will never admit that... except on this blog...!

Red Tulip

It is time I posted something on this blog. I feel lame for not having such epic stories about my dealings with boys. I'm not going to lie... kissing is outside my expertise, meaning all I've experience is on the cheek, and awkward lip touches. This is what I am choosing to write about.

So... his name is Matt. We've been friends since 8th grade, and he's the type of guy you call a man... well a man whore for lack of a better term. Anyway, he asked me on a date. Now, I didn't get too excited, because you could tell it was definitely a "I'm-reluctant-to-go-on-this-because-there-won't-be-ANYONE-cool-there-so-I-asked-you" type of date. Which I'm okay with, because these types of dates always have the best stories! (Such as this).

Anyway, so he picks me up, and we go to this kids house. We were there with two other couples, all of which seemed to have a higher IQ than me, times ten. We played some bored games, all of which me and Matt would just mess around with. So I'm thinking... Well, at least we're making this fun! Because really, it was awkward.

Continuing, we moved on to the Clue DVD game. It was... fun, whatever. Moving on, they decided to watch Monk. It was only an hour long, so I'm thinking... yes, I just might have time to go hang out with someone else...

Matt grabs a blanket for us to share. He instantly grabs my hand, which isn't even abnormal. Really, he's been holding my hand at every opportunity since 8th grade. I didn't think anything of it. Until, he kept pushing my cheek up against his. Now, I couldn't tell if this was an affectionate gesture... or a Matt-is-being-weird-again move. So finally after my neck had about had it I turned to say something to him. All forms of words left my brain as our lips touched. Not a kiss, just touched. I FROZE. I did not want to be another innocent girl to add to Matt's "I-get-whomever-I-want" list. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want to move my lips, because then he'd think it was a kiss. So after what seemed like forever, I pulled away. Matt then says, "You ready to go?"

YES Matt, yes I am ready to go.

So, to skip over the boring parts... he kept taking "accidental" wrong turns to my house. Then proceeded to hold my hand, try to kiss me at a stop sign, and then say how much he liked me. (Yeah....right) By the time we made it to my house, he was set on kissing. Which, I couldn't decide if I wanted to or not. Sure, I wanted to kiss (who wouldn't?) but not him. It just seemed... gross.

Anyway, awkward doorstep scene. He went in for the kiss, and got my cheek. So he started moving down my neck. (which would've been fun, except that it was matt doing it) and so, after he tried 5 million times to get my lips and plenty of, "oh come on!"s, I went inside. Then he sent me psycho texts the next day.

Regrets? Sure, I should've just kissed him like CC would've. But I didn't, so I'm over it.

The End.

The "It's Just Hormones" Theory Proved Wrong

Too exhausted to think of a more witty title. And "The unexpected date that did not come back to the 'It's just hormones' theory" seemed too long.

This tale really should begin before I had a date at all. I'd been planning to ask this kid from my seminary class. As we were leaving seminary I was walking to catch up with him when his girlfriend, yes, his girlfriend, hopped up and held his hand. That could have been a very awkward situation.

So still wanting a date I didn't know well, but feeling a little desperate, I was surprised when Bad A Beyonce found me the next day and said "You should ask Brad to MORP!" mm...my first thought: "how long have you guys been going out, again?" I just laughed and told her she must be kidding. But you see, Bad A's mom has forbidden their relationship to continue so taking him to MORP wasn't happening. Ten minutes later she'd texted me his number and told me that he was excited to go. oh.

I'd planned on treating Brad like a brother. Or just a friend's boyfriend.

Even through text he was really optimistic about everything.(7 points) Bowling was a success. Brad was really good...mmm... but he had an amazing balance between being humble about it while not putting himself down.. (6 points) He smelled good.(4 points) He makes one feel as though he's never thought of himself before and only the comfort of others. When he went to use the bathroom, he actually said "Excuse me, I need to use the restroom. I'll be right back." before leaving me... whoa. who's his mother? (7 points)

Even though it was a girls' choice dance he opened every door for me. (5 points) At dinner at Kevin's house, he pulled out my chair for me. (8 points) Then asked if I wanted lemonade and grabbed my glass that I'd forgotten about. (6 points) He told me I looked pretty (or something to that effect) after dinner when I put CC's huge black bow in my hair. (10 points) He never once said anything even slightly demeaning to anyone. Not even in a joking way. So polite. Saying 'excuse me' and 'thank you' even when it might not be necessary. But not in an overwhelming or annoying way. Just casually. (9 points)

At the end of the date I walked him to his door. So he says "Did you have a good time?" Yet again focusing on anyone but himself. (5 points) I awkwardly shook his hand. Hey, don't mock. I was not about to even consider hugging Bad A Beyonce's boyfriend. Not to mention I'm not the "free love, hugging" type. He took that in stride. (4 points)

This whole time I was trying so hard to be super optimistic and energetic and enthusiastic because I was worried about him being uncomfortable or miserable. Mostly I felt inadequate. And highly undeserving.

At the end of this all, I came to an unexpected conclusion. I actually expected myself to be utterly smitten with him in every way. To be honest, I'm not. What I mean is that "It's just hormones" idea never came into play. I never felt that. Yes I was impressed with his supreme gentleman like behavior and his balance between seeming perfection and terrific quirks. But I don't feel like I have a "crush" on him. I feel more like I'd rather just be great friends and get to know him more. The whole spend-time-with-people-who-have-traits-you-want-to-adopt idea...

Is that why I feel unhappy? I think I'd be more normal feeling if I had a big hormonal crush on him haha. But when all I want is to have a new guy friend that doesn't like me (Swede...), it's somehow unsatisfying to know that it's not really plausible. We might say 'hi' now, but hanging out? Yeah right. Bad A Beyonce set up the date, but that does not mean that she would be chipper with me if I attempted some sort of friendship. haha. mm. I feel selfish. self centered. 'tis time to do something for somebody else.

The Goings On in California - Part 2

Where was I? Oh yes. My friends have just arrived at the hotel. The energy is intense. The excitement is pulsing. The sun is bright. The day is full of possibilities. And what does Jenn want? Mexican food.

Off we went on a search for a Mexican restaurant. Down the street I had just an hour earlier been on as I feared for my safety. A boy on a skateboard went rushing through us, splitting up our line. We all turned to get a better look at him. He was looking at us, too. I don't know what I did it, but I definitely don't regret it. I began running toward him. "Hey, hey! Do you want to get Mexican food with us?" He said, "I just ate at Carl's Jr." I said, "Come anyway!" He said, "Okay." Julian became our strong and beautiful knight on our quest to conquer Anaheim.

The first few minutes with Julian were strange. I guess I hadn't really expected him to accept my offer. No one knew quite what to say, so we filled the time with small talk. By the time we entered the restaurant, we were all flowing. He lives with his doctor dad in New Mexico, where he spends his time playing football and skateboarding, or more recently, smoking 'shrooms. We walked all of three miles to the mall, where he dealt with three very different girls screaming and jumping and squealing and laughing and getting fake tattoos. He still wanted to hang out with us the next day. What a trouper.

Sitting in the airport, I don't feel good about going back to Utah with the blizzards and the problems. But here I come...

My Response to Sparkle's Break-Up

First off, I speak for everyone when I say FINALLY. On Saturday night I talked to TS for a little while about the break-up. Sometimes he's a really great guy, mostly around his family. But it seems that he spends too much time thinking he's invincible, thinking he's immortal. It makes him very unpleasant to talk to. I know I do this a lot, but I'd like to give a sampling of the things he and I discussed.

Girls he's kissed while going out with Sparkle. (Too many to count.)

The worst kisser ever. (Stella's friend reminds him of those fish that suck onto the side of their tanks.)

That he hasn't kissed a girl in 3 weeks. (And he was determined to change that within a matter of days.)

The Break-Up. (In Sparkle's grandparent's backyard.)

Why he and Sparkle can't be friends. (Because when he sees Sparkle and he's not with her, he is constantly reminded that he's not good enough for her. When they're together, he knows he is good enough for her. Doesn't that make so much sense?)

The Goings On in California - Part 1

Hello Ladies,

I wouldn't ordinarily be posting on the Boy Blog while on vacation in California, but when I have so much to say (and I'm waiting for my friend to get out of the shower), it seemed necessary. I've had some great times here. I'm here with Jenn, McKenzie and Covey. Each of these girls is beautiful and funny and always up for a good time. I have no idea what our parents were thinking when they let us go to California without any chaperone.

The first day I arrived in Anaheim, I was given the chance to walk around the city by myself for 4 hours. How did this come about? Jenn, McKenzie and Covey have been here a few days longer than me, staying at McKenzie's grandma's house in Long Beach and soaking up the sun on the beach. I flew in Monday morning, and my shuttle dropped me off at the hotel by 11. The girls were supposed to be here around 12:30, but because they are who they are (God bless them), they didn't leave until 2 and wouldn't be here until 2:40. Perfect.

I asked the hotel to hold my luggage so I could explore the area a little more. They said that they would usually let me check in early, but it was pre-paid for and it wasn't under my name, so that idea was shot out the window. Let me paint a visual of that first-day experience in Anaheim. The morning I flew out was a miserable, snowy day, and Anaheim was warm, beautiful and sunny. Imagine you are alone in a city you're completely unfamiliar with. It's technically a safe town (my hotel is less than a mile from the Disneyland entrance), and you know you're going to have to entertain yourself for possibly hours. Naturally, your first instinct would be to buy a giant red slushee from the 7 Eleven next door, then head down the street that's lined with palm trees. Naturally.

I have walked down the Vegas Strip looking glamorous before. I have jogged past construction areas with a slightly-better-than-average bod. I have lain on the beaches of Cancun in less-that-modest attire. But I have never received more catcalls and whistles than what I received that sunny day in Anaheim, walking down the street in ridiculously modest clothes with that "traveler's glow" that makes most people turn away blushing. To a certain point, catcalls can do a lot for your self-esteem. Or simply make you laugh, if you're me. Occasionally, a dude gets enough motivation to do MORE than catcall, such as jump over a bush from the parking lot he was standing in to ask directions to somewhere.

When he jumped over the bush, I considered running. A bush-jumper is obviously displaying some form of desperation, and desperation makes people do crazy things. However, he introduced himself as Danny and began talking to me. I was talking back. The spontaneous street attack was beginning to flow. I was talking to a stranger in every sense of the phrase, but there were plenty of people around, so I disregarded every warning my mother ever gave me and enjoyed the conversation. (I didn't get a single catcall when talking to Danny.)

Things we discussed:

Where I am from. (Utah.)

Why I'm in California. (Friend's 18th birthday.)

How old I am. (18 - oops, it slipped.)

How old he is. (28 - forgive me.)

How he couldn't see me dating guys my own age. (Imagine if he knew I was 16.)

His job. (Auto parts company.)

His dad. (Hated being a lawyer.)

My mom. (Is a lawyer.)

My plans for that week in California. (Party hard. At Disneyland.)

My plans for the following day. (He suggested coffee with him.)

My phone number. (I gave him my real number. Don't know why.)

That night, my phone broke. Goodbye, Danny.

Two hours and a giant red slushee later, I was making my way back to the hotel from Target. My friends were finally leaving Long Beach and would be in Anaheim within the hour. It was a relatively long walk back to the hotel. I'd walked far enough that I was in a slightly less crowded and less nice part of town. I was on the side of the street that very few people seemed to be walking on. That's when I almost got kidnapped.

Allow me to explain. I cannot prove that his intentions were to kidnap me. I cannot prove that anything would have happened. But I can put the pieces together enough to figure out that I was in a bad situation. It started with one whistle. It might have been when I was crossing the street somewhere. I don't remember exactly. But when I recognized the same Mexican in a black car suddenly turning around to FOLLOW me, I knew something fishy was up. (Racism is out. I was just stating the facts.)

He pulled up next to me and motioned for me to come over to him. (Tell me; do I have STUPID written across my forehead???) I smiled a little but but kept walking. I knew my mother would be anxious to give me yet another lecture on stranger danger at this moment. The man drove away and I thought it was over. I was still on edge and was very aware of my surroundings.

I was walking fast, trying to get to an area with more people. I hurried past the entrance to a small, run-down souvenir shop just as a car pulled in right behind me, almost hitting me. I had the strong feeling that I shouldn't turn around until I had gotten further away. I waited a moment before turning around to see the same man in the car, his eyes still on me. He again motioned for me to come over, and started pulling his car around the parking lot to the other side where I was walking. I pulled out my phone and frantically started calling my mom over and over again. I don't know why that was my automatic response. "Hey, there's this creeper trying to get me into his car. I should definitely call my mom who is 264 miles away."

After I realized my mom wasn't going to answer her phone, I got smart and called my dad. Who was at home back in Utah. I told him what was going on and asked him to just stay on the phone with me until I got back to the hotel. I was laughing hysterically, but on the verge of tears. By the time I got back to my hotel, I felt safe and I had regained my composure by the time my friends arrived.

Watch out for Part 2 of The Goings on in California, coming soon!!