No more sob stories

After the strained weeks of still looking for him when I walk into a room, waiting for a call that'll never come, and having my hands feel so...dry.... I finally have moved on. I might have had a re bound---totally not worth it PS, I didn't really think you could be a bad kisser, but yes. It is more than possible!---but I've moved on! It's been atleast a 2 month process, but the guilt is gone. My pain has subsided, and I'm done. I don't even need attention from him at all; it's a great feeling I assure you.
To prove my point, I'd like to relate a story of mixed signals, black man lips (no racist connotations), and snowy nights......

His name is DFS. He's the funniest guy I've ever met. It's like he speaks in sarcasm. My favorite quote from one of our dates, "Stoplights are humans without legs." It means absolutely nothing, and yet I find it hysterical. You can go ahead laugh....now.

So once upon a time, DFS (I'm debating whether I should change it to DuFuS? Just because) Back to trying to sound mature, ahem.... I tried to be bold and I asked him on a date. We went up to temple square, by riding the tracks, and walked around. At one point he grabbed my hand and said, "Now I want you to know that I don't do this often. You should feel special because I hate holding hands, but I'm doing it for you." Now, had anyone else said this, I'd have been like, well fine! Don't hold my hand, see if I care. (Sometimes I take on the persona of a 7 yr. old) However since it was DFS, I actually found it sweet. I'd never really seen him like that; he actually seemed somewhat nervous if that's even possible for him. The evening proceeded without anything else noteworthy. We rode trax home which...I probably should have factored in MoTab concert traffic.... oh well! I guess you don't really mind when it's so crowded DFS' back is at the back of the train car.... and you conveniently end up in his arms for the duration of the 30 minute ride home. *cough*cough*It really wasn't my idea* Anyway, we just went and watched a movie till we decided to go home. I drove him home, he mocked my driving which wasn't entirely undeserved seeing as how I couldn't even get the key out of the ignition earlier....(it was my brother's car which had 4 wheel drive, it's my only defense!)

Now the story you've all been waiting for..... when I say "all" I mean CC and Freckles....
We pulled up at his house and he says, " well I guess now would be the time for me to kiss you..." Can I just remark upon how awkward I can be? Do I respond with a witty, confidently said, "yes I guess I'll let you," in the same sarcastic tone? Oh no.... I have to have a mind wipe and say, "If you want to?" in a mousy, quiet, and confused tone. Oh heavens...... we then have a short meaningless small talk that only exaggerates the fact that sometimes.... I need to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT! Enjoy the moment, if you will. Then he opens the door and says, "well I guess I'll be leaving now..." He turns for a split second, and then swivels around as he shuts the door again. My heart starts leaping out of my chest as his hand pulls my face slowly towards his, just gently..... he leans in and kisses me. Might I add that he has the biggest lips I've ever seen on any white man at all? I mean really, I didn't think it'd matter, but it does. Girls....it does. You haven't been kissed till you've been kissed by DFS. They almost... fold around yours. I can't tell if this is a good mental image or a gross one... but really it was a tender moment. We kissed a few times, and again my mind was.....blank except for me thinking constantly about how great this was because of his lips! Sometimes I can be such a...girl. As I drove away, I didn't even care that it was a snow storm outside or even that I had no idea what this meant but......it was a great night. I let out a girlish squeal of delight, unfortunately out loud (I'm embarassed to admit) as I drove away. The End.
Are you happy now CC?

And this leaves me with the condition of getting excited at every vibration...just in case it's him. I've now checked my sent box and outbox just to make sure my last message sent..... that was a side note. I now can't even feel like I'm in the room when he's there until he's acknowledged me....why must I be so pathetic?

Six word:
Pathetic heart: just got a jumpstart