Being pissed doesn't mean you're over someone

I am having a self crisis at the moment and would love some sound advice...

I think I am in denial about the whole break up thing because honestly being mad, well pissed, at someone for a long time doesn't mean your over them. We broke up, he hooked up with someone else, and we haven't said a single word to each other.. until today when he simply asked why my team wasn't going to Las Vegas anymore for a tournament. Should this offend me? No! But it did! We never talk... we're not even friends anymore, so what gives him the right to start a casual conversation with me when I've never even got an apology, better yet an explanation! Lets just say I'm sure the 20 second conversation didn't go the way he wanted it to... I just don't feel like I owe him anything... not even a decent conversation. If he wants that he can try alot harder....

My dilemma is that I cant get closure.. I mean being mad is good and all but it has to end sometime! How do you move on? I'm not the type that can do the rebound thing! I haven't even had the slightest desire to like someone else! It probably would have helped but I haven't freaked out at him like most girls do.. He has a new girlfriend (after he gave me the mission excuse which was obvious BS!) so I don't know if I even want to talk about it to him. All I would end up texting him and saying is your a jerk for lying and cheating and ask for the real reason he dumped me, but do I really wanna know? On the other hand what do I have to lose? Should I try texting him? I just don't know how to end this with myself and really move on. I don't want to keep hating him forever and continue to not like anyone else because deep down it still hurts that he did that to me and I want him to know it but I cant........... ah crud.

Help?

Sound Advice

I completely and entirely support the Riley-can-suck-it-Anderson post. I found it comical and enlightening. Might I just add that it seems like boys are very similar to girls in some aspects? It seems as if spreading the word around is quite the addiction...

**Note to bloggers. I heavily suggest you start paying attention to the "Anonymous" and "Sound Advice" comments that are being posted to some of your posts. I've found them to be more than helpful, and this is why I am posting tonight.**

First: "You must remember one important thing, relationships are like buses, another one comes along every fifteen minutes and they all can take you somewhere different."

I've now decided that the more and more I dwell on the fact that Poser van Levels has broken my heart, and that I hate him for it, does nothing. I've focused so much on the negative that I've forgotten why I stuck with it so long. Might I quote my twitter: Why is it that my bad memories are filled with such inexplicable happiness? So! All I'm saying is that I'm in high school, and I need to get over it, which I have. I'm merely saying that I don't feel as if I've fully recovered because I'm still making snide comments. This is my personal goal to stop talking crap on him, and having a more positive attitude. There's got to be some redeaming qualities, or why did I ever date him in the first place? So... even though he's a man whore who preys on the understanding of the female population, I'm making an effort to be nice. (I had to get the last out of my system) This relates to the comment from Anonymous because.... I've changed because of the stupid relationship. I now make fun of everyone possible, have a lowered self image, and have lost all trust with the male population. -Wait, what I meant when I said that was... I now know how to really work at a relationship, have come to the realization that I won't get everything my way, and also now have more realistic expectations for men. Better? Like it was said, the relationships take you all different directions. I'm learning from the last in order to make the next trip more enjoyable. I truly hope this makes sense.

Second:"If the relationship ends, and it's started up again, it will end the same way as before."

I must say I agree with this. I want you to think about how you felt about the relationship after you got back together. Quite honestly, I felt we were constantly on the brink of breaking up again. Merely because, we knew we could reach that point at any time. It was always sitting there waiting to happen. It was always an option that both of us felt like we take. It made it an easier decision to break up the second time? Why? Because we never got back to "normal." We tried, but it was never the same. -Even if we pretended it was. Just saying.

Six word: Sound Advice comes from unexpected places.

Six word to make up for the lack of one on my last post: Smothering the flames leaves aching ribs.

Valentine's Day Disaster

So you would think that Valentine's Day is romantic, and wonderful. One on one holiday right? Well, not mine. First of all, he made me drive myself to BJ's house (where we had our date, if you can even call it one). That was the first mistake. Then, when I got there I knocked on the door and they didn't answer. I called too but they didn't answer that either. Finally Dustin came up because the dog kept barking. I was standing out there a good 10 minutes. I almost left I was so mad. Anyway. I walk downstairs and it's BJ playing the xbox and Dustin and I were sitting on the bed. I found out that BJ's date bailed because she was having a girl's night that night. I also found out later that they invited Shawn, who also didn't have a date. Alex and Ashley finally showed up. (They broke up but they were still Valentines.)

They put blankets on the floor because we were having a picnic. I was like, oh alright that's cute. Then they made everyone go with them to Wingers to get buckets of wings. Classy right? Yeah. We got back and they threw paper plates on the ground and it was as if they said, "dig in". At this point I was like, okay seriously? Then BJ and Shawn were acting like a gay couple and they kept making "that's what she said" jokes and talking about gross things they've done with girls. Well, BJ did at least. Ashley and I were both like, wow. Awkward. Everyone got done eating and they decided to watch the movie now. Wanna guess what movie we watched? I doubt you will. Tenacious D. You know, Jack Blacks band? Yeah. It's a movie about how there band got started and it's supposedly really funny. It's horrible. It said the F word a million times I swear. That was when I got really mad. Who watches that kind of movie on Valentine's Day?!

Next part of my story is when Stephanie and Jordin came over. They are these two girls that I swear are lesbians. BJ likes Jordin and she's the girl who was having the girl's night. With Stephanie. Alex was getting all up on Steph even though he was there with Ashley. Shawn and Ashley were talking after that. Everyone switched dates besides Dustin and me. It was weird!!

OH!! My gift.. It was a necklace (I don't wear necklaces) that was a heart (I hate hearts). It was delicate and cute I guess. But I don't think he thought about it when he bought it. He knows both those things and yet he persisted to buy it.

Question, How come guys are so stupid when it comes to these things?

Rainbow's Opinion About Cycling

My opinion with the whole Swede thing is that he'll probably go back into the same cycle. I feel negative and stuff but I believe that's the truth.

My boy things... hmmm. I slept at a guy's house Friday night. WEIRD!!! Nothing bad happened. Don't worry. It was just one of those things I guess. But he was cute and made it not weird (as un-weird as it possibly could be.)

CC and Freckles Talk Boys

CC: I hate that he pretends to not know me.

Freckles: I don't have anything to say.

CC: Why can't I talk to boys?

Freckles: I don't have anything to say.

CC: I hate it when boys are touchy. I think.

Freckles: I don't have anything to say.

The Real Freckles: I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY!!

Age Sucks

Why is it that I can’t like a guy younger than me, even by 9 days?

Why is it that I don’t find any teenage male attractive, physically or personally?

Why is it that I can be so immature that the only guys that like me are perverts or only 13? (Oh wait, isn’t that the same thing?)

Why is it that I bounce between crushes on teenage boys and crushes on guys in their mid-twenties and crushes on movie stars and a strange attraction to sports cars and chalupas?

Why is it that the first guy I ever connected with on an intellectual level was 8 years my senior... oh, and I only met him once?

Why is it that I can’t stand 75% of all males, but I still have a problem with the lack of problems in the other 25%?

Why is it that the only guy close to my age that I understand intellectually fits in that 25% category, lives in California, is in love with my perfect, beautiful friend, and is a diehard conservative?

Why is it that I’m thoroughly worried about this when I’m not even 16 yet? I’m giving myself a headache.

Tell Dust

Rainbow: I know what you're talking about. And you need to tell Dust.

I wish I could be there for you, but I'm in Las Vegas. If you need to urgently talk to someone, I have my cell phone and nothing to do here. I'd love to talk to you. Please call.

I think you should tell Dust because it's not fair to him, and more than that, it's not fair to you. When I get back, we can watch stupid TV shows and eat ridiculous amounts of ice cream if you need it. Love you.

To Tell or Not to Tell?

Well, you see, yesterday was a very horrendous day for me. I cried almost all day. I finally told this kid how I felt about him (yeah, I probably shouldn't be doing so, seeing that I have a boyfriend). But you have to understand that this other kid was in my life way before my present boyfriend. Anyways, I told him that I really do believe that I loved him when we were "together" and it took me way after we "broke up" to realize it. I told him I still had feelings for him, and how I really wish that we were better friends. I also told him that he was the reason I cried after my birthday party at Freckles' house. You see, I was there with Dustin, and yet I still felt something towards ... this guy. I told Dustin about that though. I guess I don't regret breaking off whatever we were (we weren't official exactly), but I regret that it ruined our friendship.

After venting to him about all my life problems and everything I felt, I then felt a new emotion that I hadn't been feeling that day... stupidity. I shouldn't have told him anything. It might make things awkward for us. Maybe not though. Supposedly we are tight and we are going to hang out. I won't be telling Dustin about this blog. I feel horrible though. Maybe I should tell him.

Any suggestions on what I should do, ay? I don't want to tell him, because I already told him about my thoughts and feelings at my birthday party, and if I tell him this, he might think I'm going to leave him or something. Which, I won't due. At least not for this other guy (My proof that I'm not going to is this: 1. he likes one of my good friends[she likes him back] 2. I don't do the whole, being with someone, breaking up, and being with them again in the future.) I think those 2 reasons are good enough. I sound extremely dumb right now and so I'm going to stop blabbering on about this whole messed up situation. please, PLEASE! Give me suggestions on whether I should tell Dust or not :/

A Conversation With An Actual Boy

I was just talking to Bryce (an actual boy) and he seemed confused as I tried to explain The Boy Blog. Secrets were revealed.

Secret #1: Bryce said, "I don't see what the big mystery is."

I said, "Actually, you're right. The problem isn't boys. The problem is that girls HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY WANT."

Secret #2: Later in the conversation, I expressed the sudden thought I had. "THAT'S IT. Freckles was right all along. It's just hormones."

Bryce said, "Yes, but they are there for a great, wise purpose."

That's my new favorite quote. And I think those are 2 important secrets. What do you all think?

Answering Question about Younger Guys

CC's question:
Why do only younger guys ever like me or flirt with me? (PLEASE don't tell me it's just because I'm immature.)

My answer::
First of all, it's not only younger guys that like you. Older guys or even the same age guys are stupid and are still too immature to tell you they like you (most of the time). I know for a fact that there is bound to be at least 2 older guys that like you and find you attractive. I mean, you are gorgeous and you have such great attributes to you. Namely, good personality, cute face, cute butt (I just want to pinch it :P), and just... you are just great all around. Younger guys just show there feelings towards you and flirt with you because they are attracted to your immaturity. I can't lie. You have been known to be immature. That isn't a bad thing at the slightest! And besides, you should like it when younger guys like you. Because most older guys just want one thing. And everyone knows what that is, so no need for me to state it here.

I hope this has helped. I doubt I have, but I tried for your benefit because I love you :)

Answering Questions About Fist Fights

Rainbow, I have decided to take it upon myself to answer your questions. With this in mind, you must answer my ONE question.

Answer #1: Why do boys think it's cool to get in fist fights?

To research for this, I asked an actual boy. He will remain anonymous. This is what he said, "Ummm.... Because most boys aren't socially advanced enough to talk it out and if they are, it's because they're bigger than the other one and don't have time to be humiliated."

Hm... I wonder what side of the spectrum HE'S on!?!?!?

Another guy just explained it's because guys get bored.

Answer #2: Why do they act like they don't care what you do, but then you ask to go somewhere with another guy (just as a friend), and he tells you he doesn't feel comfortable with it?

To be quite honest, Rainbow, this is just an ego-problem that many guys seem to have. The interesting paradox is that the guys with ego problems are the only guys who have girlfriends, and therefore, they always must have some power over their girls. I'm sorry this is true and I wish I could change it. The only other option is castrating every single one of them. Any volunteers?

Answer #3: What is so horrible about watching chick flicks?

If you have not yet put it together, it's all ego. Antsy Pants has just informed me (she is sitting here) that boys without egos are gay. We put the pieces together. Also, boys who like the book Twilight are gay. Just to forewarn you.

My Question begins with a story.

Story time: I was at school today (shocker, I know) and was in a fairly good mood. I pulled out my pretty computer to play with Photo Booth. Many people gathered around, and this one kid from my school (much younger than me) started doing weird kissy things to me in the pictures.

My Question: Why do only younger guys ever like me or flirt with me? (PLEASE don't tell me it's just because I'm immature.)

Asking Questions About Fist Fights

I just have a couple questions that are bouncing around in my mind. Will people please give me answers?

-Why do boys think that it's cool to get in fist fights?

-Why do they act like they don't care what you do, but then you ask to go somewhere with another guy (just as a friend) and he tells you he doesn't feel comfortable with it? Honestly, you act like you don't care and nothing is a big deal until it comes down to the nitty gritty.

-My last question... What is so horrible about watching chick flicks? It shouldn't matter what you watch, as long as you're spending quality time together. He doesn't see me complaining when we watch weird action movies.