Score.

No, not that kind of score, silly!

I've never been much of a dater. The time I used to spend with guys seemed to go, "Hey, you're pretty cute," then a minute later I'd be going, "What just happened?" You understand, I hope. However, I've recently found myself being asked on dates. Real dates. With boys. Real boys. Weird, right? It's not so bad. It can be pretty fun, even. Of course, I have one dilemma that is puzzling me.

While I expect to score a free meal on a date, the guys who ask me out seem to expect to just score. Do I come off as easy? Guys that seem perfectly suitable during dinner are a bit too handsy just an hour later. I'm not even particularly flirty. Heavens, I'll go out of my way to avoid hugging someone, even if they're just a friend. Let's be honest: I could even be classified as standoffish. Just holding hands and cuddling makes me feel dirty. I feel as though I've gone backwards on the scale of what I feel comfortable with physically. I guess that's why I call my past indiscretions a "phase."

What is with these guys? "Hm, I think I want to get some tonight, so I'll dish out 25 bucks for dinner with this hot blonde." (Yes. I am the hot blonde in question.) Then when they're driving themselves home without even a quick peck at the door, they're like, "Wow, I must be off my game tonight."

As the Pussycat Dolls have taught me so effectively: It's funny how a man only thinks about the -----.

Hey, remember that time when some girls told Red Tulip I made out with her ex? Do I have that kind of reputation? Really? REALLY?

That's it. I'm becoming a nun.

prom.

I hate prom.

I hate the glitter.

I hate the fluff.

I hate the cheesy love songs.

I hate prom kings/prom queens.

I hate how people tell me "it's not a big romantic deal, it's just a dance" when their boyfriend's have already asked them.

I hate it when I think I might have that miniscule glimmer of hope of getting asked when in reality, no guy wants to date me.

I hate the sour pang I get in my stomach when all my friends sit and chat about what color their dresses are going to be, where they are getting their nails done, if they should wear heels or not.

I hate hearing "Boys, don't forget to get your dates for prom!" over the morning announcements, as if they have forgotten about prom all together.

I hate downcasting my eyes and wringing my hands when I say "no" when I've been questioned if I've been asked to prom or not.

I hate the consuming feeling of jealousy that I can't do nothing about until this stupid dance is over.

Date #2

I feel like im always writing something. sorry you probably get sick of hearing from me ha my b.
So question.... since I obviously have no idea what goes on in the mind of the male species maybe one of you will understand this.
AT (what we'll call him) has asked me on dates before and we've hung out before but it's never gone anywhere and every time I start to like him he magically hooks up with someone else and I do a complete mind drain and forget him easily. Weve always been really good friends though. and hes drop dead sexy. anyways. So recently I heard from a friend of his that he was going to ask either me or another girl to prom and of course he asked her ( I didnt even know they were friends but thats totally fine I could care less about prom) so I just figured they had a thing and dropped everything. But he's still asking to hang out and stuff all the time. Our second real official date is tonight. Rock climbing up the canyon. The date sounds good to me but I don't really know what kind of a date it is. Usually if its two official dates right in a row that means something right? I'm a little confused so im going to keep it friends till we figure out whats going on.... crud.

Dating Family...ish

What do you do when you go on a date with a member of your best friends family? What if it gets awkward? It's not like you can just say, "Oh well, I'll never see you again." Because you will! All the time! And then you're friend will be all like, "So.... How's that going?" or "You like my family member..." I know.. Awkward. Crushing is one thing. Dating is a different matter. NOT THAT I'M DATING ANYONE! Or even LIKE them... It was just one date. I swear... Just the best date I've ever been on...

But seriously guys. It was an awesome date. And the best part is he has continued speaking to me. And we really get along! And he regularly wants to hang out with me. Gah! I feel stupid and girly and squealy.. Which was NOT the plan. The plan was to just not like boys for a while. After the whole weirdness with Cedar boy..

The other thing is that Alice's(Pseudonym) family member is way too good. You know? He's the guy that you're Mom says, "You should write him on his mission and then get married and give me loads of grandchildren." Not that my Mom has actually said that.. Ok just the bit about the mission.

So the point of this is.... Something.. Don't read to much into this. I just like rambling! Okay! Stop hassling me!

The "It's Just Hormones" Theory Proved Wrong

Too exhausted to think of a more witty title. And "The unexpected date that did not come back to the 'It's just hormones' theory" seemed too long.

This tale really should begin before I had a date at all. I'd been planning to ask this kid from my seminary class. As we were leaving seminary I was walking to catch up with him when his girlfriend, yes, his girlfriend, hopped up and held his hand. That could have been a very awkward situation.

So still wanting a date I didn't know well, but feeling a little desperate, I was surprised when Bad A Beyonce found me the next day and said "You should ask Brad to MORP!" mm...my first thought: "how long have you guys been going out, again?" I just laughed and told her she must be kidding. But you see, Bad A's mom has forbidden their relationship to continue so taking him to MORP wasn't happening. Ten minutes later she'd texted me his number and told me that he was excited to go. oh.

I'd planned on treating Brad like a brother. Or just a friend's boyfriend.

Even through text he was really optimistic about everything.(7 points) Bowling was a success. Brad was really good...mmm... but he had an amazing balance between being humble about it while not putting himself down.. (6 points) He smelled good.(4 points) He makes one feel as though he's never thought of himself before and only the comfort of others. When he went to use the bathroom, he actually said "Excuse me, I need to use the restroom. I'll be right back." before leaving me... whoa. who's his mother? (7 points)

Even though it was a girls' choice dance he opened every door for me. (5 points) At dinner at Kevin's house, he pulled out my chair for me. (8 points) Then asked if I wanted lemonade and grabbed my glass that I'd forgotten about. (6 points) He told me I looked pretty (or something to that effect) after dinner when I put CC's huge black bow in my hair. (10 points) He never once said anything even slightly demeaning to anyone. Not even in a joking way. So polite. Saying 'excuse me' and 'thank you' even when it might not be necessary. But not in an overwhelming or annoying way. Just casually. (9 points)

At the end of the date I walked him to his door. So he says "Did you have a good time?" Yet again focusing on anyone but himself. (5 points) I awkwardly shook his hand. Hey, don't mock. I was not about to even consider hugging Bad A Beyonce's boyfriend. Not to mention I'm not the "free love, hugging" type. He took that in stride. (4 points)

This whole time I was trying so hard to be super optimistic and energetic and enthusiastic because I was worried about him being uncomfortable or miserable. Mostly I felt inadequate. And highly undeserving.

At the end of this all, I came to an unexpected conclusion. I actually expected myself to be utterly smitten with him in every way. To be honest, I'm not. What I mean is that "It's just hormones" idea never came into play. I never felt that. Yes I was impressed with his supreme gentleman like behavior and his balance between seeming perfection and terrific quirks. But I don't feel like I have a "crush" on him. I feel more like I'd rather just be great friends and get to know him more. The whole spend-time-with-people-who-have-traits-you-want-to-adopt idea...

Is that why I feel unhappy? I think I'd be more normal feeling if I had a big hormonal crush on him haha. But when all I want is to have a new guy friend that doesn't like me (Swede...), it's somehow unsatisfying to know that it's not really plausible. We might say 'hi' now, but hanging out? Yeah right. Bad A Beyonce set up the date, but that does not mean that she would be chipper with me if I attempted some sort of friendship. haha. mm. I feel selfish. self centered. 'tis time to do something for somebody else.

Girl Rules

There are a few simple rules I feel like we must recall concerning friends and boys.

1. If she likes him first (or even just says she does first), you don't like him, flirt with him, look at him, or even think about him.

2. Don't participate in any form of PDA in front of your friends; it's annoying.

3. If he's her "sort of boyfriend," don't kiss him. If he claims they aren't together, ask around. You can't trust him on this.

4. If he breaks her heart, break his face.

5. If he cheats on her, elbow him really hard right after he eats a ton of Cafe Rio. (Be careful on this one; he might not ever let you in his house again.)

6. If she "hates" him, but you can tell she secretly is in love with him, DON'T ask her to admit it until she's good and ready, or until she's crying on your bed at 3 AM asking why she isn't happy.

7. If she says she's over him, but you can tell she isn't, DON'T think you have a chance. And DON'T push her to admit she's not over him.

8. Friends don't let friends *re-date.

9. If he sticks his tongue down her throat without permission, grab a golf club and meet him at the park across the street from his house. Bring reinforcements.

10. If you know he's trouble and she won't listen, make sure to be there when the prodigal girl returns, her lesson learned. You'll only alienate her by trying to control her. And most girls like that "trouble" thing anyway.

11. If your friends are telling you he's trouble, you might want to listen. Seriously, folks.

12. If she has just broken up with her boyfriend and is trying to date other people and she really needs you to find a date to double with and go with her, DO IT.

13. Be understanding if your friend can't find a date to double with you.

14. A good lesson from kindergarten... if she says she likes him, don't tell her he picks his nose. She won't forget it. Ever.

15. If she wants to tell you every detail of last night's make-out session, listen. Laugh when appropriate.

16. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

17. If she needs you, and you can tell she needs you, drop the boy like a hot potato and be there for your friend!

18. Don't date her brother. She will not approve.

19. Try not to tell too many guys about the Boy Blog. Too many boys and girls reputations could be ruined.

20. Love your friends and stand by them ALWAYS, especially when they're wrong!

*Re-date: the act of dating a guy after already having broken up one or more times

Valentine's Day Disaster

So you would think that Valentine's Day is romantic, and wonderful. One on one holiday right? Well, not mine. First of all, he made me drive myself to BJ's house (where we had our date, if you can even call it one). That was the first mistake. Then, when I got there I knocked on the door and they didn't answer. I called too but they didn't answer that either. Finally Dustin came up because the dog kept barking. I was standing out there a good 10 minutes. I almost left I was so mad. Anyway. I walk downstairs and it's BJ playing the xbox and Dustin and I were sitting on the bed. I found out that BJ's date bailed because she was having a girl's night that night. I also found out later that they invited Shawn, who also didn't have a date. Alex and Ashley finally showed up. (They broke up but they were still Valentines.)

They put blankets on the floor because we were having a picnic. I was like, oh alright that's cute. Then they made everyone go with them to Wingers to get buckets of wings. Classy right? Yeah. We got back and they threw paper plates on the ground and it was as if they said, "dig in". At this point I was like, okay seriously? Then BJ and Shawn were acting like a gay couple and they kept making "that's what she said" jokes and talking about gross things they've done with girls. Well, BJ did at least. Ashley and I were both like, wow. Awkward. Everyone got done eating and they decided to watch the movie now. Wanna guess what movie we watched? I doubt you will. Tenacious D. You know, Jack Blacks band? Yeah. It's a movie about how there band got started and it's supposedly really funny. It's horrible. It said the F word a million times I swear. That was when I got really mad. Who watches that kind of movie on Valentine's Day?!

Next part of my story is when Stephanie and Jordin came over. They are these two girls that I swear are lesbians. BJ likes Jordin and she's the girl who was having the girl's night. With Stephanie. Alex was getting all up on Steph even though he was there with Ashley. Shawn and Ashley were talking after that. Everyone switched dates besides Dustin and me. It was weird!!

OH!! My gift.. It was a necklace (I don't wear necklaces) that was a heart (I hate hearts). It was delicate and cute I guess. But I don't think he thought about it when he bought it. He knows both those things and yet he persisted to buy it.

Question, How come guys are so stupid when it comes to these things?

Things do NOT Change in College

Gah.... I'm so socially stupid about boys. How have I made it to college without getting kissed!!! Or liked? Or crushed on? For heck's sake! I am literally not ok with the way my life is turning out. I'm tired of people wondering if I'm a lesbian! What is my deal...

Story time. So I finally got up the nerve yesterday to ask this guy if I could study with him for our math final. Here's the lowdown on him. He's really wierd, shy, and not "attractive" in the shallow sense of the word. So I figured I might have a chance of SOMETHING... But oh the horror... We meet up at the library like we planned, and I'm looking fabulous(but not overly so.) And ALL he talks about is how much he misses his ex-girlfriend who left last year. I was put off, but I thought that I would push forward anyway. After a good hour and a half of math I told him I needed to go to my roommates art opening at the humanities building. I said that he should come because he should take a break. And sadly enough I'm not so good at being natural and casual, so it was painfully obvious what I was tryin to do. He looked at me awkwardly for a second before saying that he should probably study some more. We parted, and I did NOT look back. I was humiliated. The only consolation is that only have to see him one more time before the class ends for the semester.

So now late at night the question that I'm pondering is when will my life take a turn for the better. Namely, when will it include boys?