Red Tulip

It is time I posted something on this blog. I feel lame for not having such epic stories about my dealings with boys. I'm not going to lie... kissing is outside my expertise, meaning all I've experience is on the cheek, and awkward lip touches. This is what I am choosing to write about.

So... his name is Matt. We've been friends since 8th grade, and he's the type of guy you call a man... well a man whore for lack of a better term. Anyway, he asked me on a date. Now, I didn't get too excited, because you could tell it was definitely a "I'm-reluctant-to-go-on-this-because-there-won't-be-ANYONE-cool-there-so-I-asked-you" type of date. Which I'm okay with, because these types of dates always have the best stories! (Such as this).

Anyway, so he picks me up, and we go to this kids house. We were there with two other couples, all of which seemed to have a higher IQ than me, times ten. We played some bored games, all of which me and Matt would just mess around with. So I'm thinking... Well, at least we're making this fun! Because really, it was awkward.

Continuing, we moved on to the Clue DVD game. It was... fun, whatever. Moving on, they decided to watch Monk. It was only an hour long, so I'm thinking... yes, I just might have time to go hang out with someone else...

Matt grabs a blanket for us to share. He instantly grabs my hand, which isn't even abnormal. Really, he's been holding my hand at every opportunity since 8th grade. I didn't think anything of it. Until, he kept pushing my cheek up against his. Now, I couldn't tell if this was an affectionate gesture... or a Matt-is-being-weird-again move. So finally after my neck had about had it I turned to say something to him. All forms of words left my brain as our lips touched. Not a kiss, just touched. I FROZE. I did not want to be another innocent girl to add to Matt's "I-get-whomever-I-want" list. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want to move my lips, because then he'd think it was a kiss. So after what seemed like forever, I pulled away. Matt then says, "You ready to go?"

YES Matt, yes I am ready to go.

So, to skip over the boring parts... he kept taking "accidental" wrong turns to my house. Then proceeded to hold my hand, try to kiss me at a stop sign, and then say how much he liked me. (Yeah....right) By the time we made it to my house, he was set on kissing. Which, I couldn't decide if I wanted to or not. Sure, I wanted to kiss (who wouldn't?) but not him. It just seemed... gross.

Anyway, awkward doorstep scene. He went in for the kiss, and got my cheek. So he started moving down my neck. (which would've been fun, except that it was matt doing it) and so, after he tried 5 million times to get my lips and plenty of, "oh come on!"s, I went inside. Then he sent me psycho texts the next day.

Regrets? Sure, I should've just kissed him like CC would've. But I didn't, so I'm over it.

The End.

Can't We Just Say, "Hi, I Find You Attractive. Would You Like to Find a Secluded Corner With Me?"

Why is it such a big deal? Can't we just say, "Hi, I find you attractive. Would you like to find a secluded corner with me?" And when we do say that why can't it be okay? What's the deal with "friends with benefits"? CC thinks it's when you get free dental as well as a booty call. But is it morally fine to simply feel needed, liked, cute, sexy, sweet, exciting, hot, validated, and all other hormonally crazy feelings with out getting your heart trashed? Of course we all have different opinions on this subject, but my question is how do we figure out the line between "just for fun" and what is just plain slutty. I think about this moral dilemma way more than is healthy, but I still have no answer. Maybe I'm just trying to rationalize my decision to tell a boy that I would prefer not to have a boyfriend seeing as I know relationships and love don't last. But now that I've tasted boys I want them all the time... Dang it... Slutty, I am.

Girl Rules

There are a few simple rules I feel like we must recall concerning friends and boys.

1. If she likes him first (or even just says she does first), you don't like him, flirt with him, look at him, or even think about him.

2. Don't participate in any form of PDA in front of your friends; it's annoying.

3. If he's her "sort of boyfriend," don't kiss him. If he claims they aren't together, ask around. You can't trust him on this.

4. If he breaks her heart, break his face.

5. If he cheats on her, elbow him really hard right after he eats a ton of Cafe Rio. (Be careful on this one; he might not ever let you in his house again.)

6. If she "hates" him, but you can tell she secretly is in love with him, DON'T ask her to admit it until she's good and ready, or until she's crying on your bed at 3 AM asking why she isn't happy.

7. If she says she's over him, but you can tell she isn't, DON'T think you have a chance. And DON'T push her to admit she's not over him.

8. Friends don't let friends *re-date.

9. If he sticks his tongue down her throat without permission, grab a golf club and meet him at the park across the street from his house. Bring reinforcements.

10. If you know he's trouble and she won't listen, make sure to be there when the prodigal girl returns, her lesson learned. You'll only alienate her by trying to control her. And most girls like that "trouble" thing anyway.

11. If your friends are telling you he's trouble, you might want to listen. Seriously, folks.

12. If she has just broken up with her boyfriend and is trying to date other people and she really needs you to find a date to double with and go with her, DO IT.

13. Be understanding if your friend can't find a date to double with you.

14. A good lesson from kindergarten... if she says she likes him, don't tell her he picks his nose. She won't forget it. Ever.

15. If she wants to tell you every detail of last night's make-out session, listen. Laugh when appropriate.

16. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

17. If she needs you, and you can tell she needs you, drop the boy like a hot potato and be there for your friend!

18. Don't date her brother. She will not approve.

19. Try not to tell too many guys about the Boy Blog. Too many boys and girls reputations could be ruined.

20. Love your friends and stand by them ALWAYS, especially when they're wrong!

*Re-date: the act of dating a guy after already having broken up one or more times

Confession!

Hee hee! So I feel a little crazy right now. I'm a little euphoric... That's right people... I BEEN KISSED!!! What now! Ok, ok, I know I'm the only one on this blog that hadn't had that happen yet, so it's a little anti-climactic for you. But I am literally spacing out every 10 minutes thinking about it.

I went to Cedar City for the long weekend to hang out with my college friend Gina, and we hung out everyday with one of her old high school friends. I totally liked him. He's way smart and insightful. Anyway, I thought it would never happen, but he was talking to Gina online after the first night of hanging out and he confessed to her that he thought I was attractive. He said that he wasn't going to do anything about it though because he thought I didn't like him like that.

I totally did. So it was awesome. I feel reckless. I feel like I could do anything.

I haven't told anybody yet, so I'm expecting a certain CC to contact me soon. I just had to get it out there.

My Cute Kissing Story

Hello Girls! CC here. STORY TIME.

I've always been against boys who tell all their friends about any kissing that they do, but girls are not as ridiculous as boys, therefore, it is my right to share this story with you. As far as I know, it is not a scamming adventure. It might be labeled that later depending on the outcome, but for now, this was a totally legit experience.

I went to a dance last night. The theme was "Black & White," and I was wearing some really hot stuff. I won't bore you with details. I was told that I looked like the following: A hot slut, a Barbie, a hooker, gothic, and hot, beautiful, and irresistible. (I insisted on being called the last 2. I told them it was nicer than "hot.") This dance was held at my old school, and it was kind of neat because for once I didn't feel like my new school and my old school had to stay in separate realms. That made me feel pretty satisfied, and maybe that's why I had the... guts? Bravery? Stupidity? Whatever it took to do what I did.

Character Introduction: Paul. A good friend. I met him last year in 9th grade, and we've just always been pretty tight. Well not for the beginning of this year, but a month or so ago, he walked me home (to my cousin's) from school, and we've been good friends again ever since.

At the dance, I was mixing and mingling with a lot of different people, but I found myself wanting to spend the most time with Wendel (who happened to be hanging out with Garrett, keep this in mind for later.) Anyway, Garrett asked me to make out with him (in a sly way, and jokingly, I think.) I informed him that he should have asked me at the last dance. I danced with Paul a few times, mostly because I'm most comfortable with him.

And I had a sudden realization.

I started to exit the dance during one of the songs. I suddenly felt very conflicted. Lucky me, Carlie was outside and she could tell something was up. She asked me if I needed to talk. I said yes, and we sat on a nearby bench.

Our Conversation: "I think I like Paul," I confessed. She paused a moment and said, "CC, I've come to a conclusion about Paul."

(Side note: Carlie frequently "comes to conclusions" about things. I trust her judgment a lot.)

"Oh?" I asked. Carlie said, "Yes. I think Wendel has changed a lot for the better [this is a paraphrase; don't really remember what she said] and I was watching you guys dance, and I was just thinking how great it would be if you guys liked each other." With Carlie's stamp of approval, I told her the next bit of information. "I want to kiss him." Carlie didn't seem shocked, and Melanie then came over, and the conversation ended.

Reasons I Like Paul:

1. He walks me home from school (when I'm staying with my cousins.)

2. He showed me a rope swing.

3. He went with me to visit my grandmother. Only really good friends do that.

4. He helps me study Spanish and laughs even though I can't speak it at all.

5. He rode my bike up the hill back to Sarah's that day and let me drive with Lance.

6. He teaches me how to say, "Can we dig out of this prison?" and "I have a wealthy father back in America!" in preparation for the trip to Mexico.

7. Even though sometimes he's not sure how to act, he does seem to want to be a good person.

The Results: I went back into the dance and partied some more, when I suddenly looked at the clock and realized the time. I had 5 minutes. I told myself, "CC, it's now or never." Paul asked me to dance the last dance, (oh dear, this part makes me sound like a dork or a seductress, take your pick) and I suggested we kind of go off into a corner. If I was going to tell him that I liked him, I didn't want someone kicking me while I said it. Kids from my school like to kick people when they dance. It's weird.

In the corner, I said, "Paul, I think I like you. No, screw that, I know I like you." The next part wasn't supposed to come out, especially considering I'm sometimes bad at being so forward. "Can I kiss you?" I asked. Let's not discuss that guys are totally supposed to be the ones to take initiative. Because I've never been one for traditionalism. While there are a million things wrong with this next part, and I know it, he said, "Let's do it." And so I kissed him. Just 2 seconds or so. Not long. Then I pulled back and laughed. (It's a CC thing.) I suddenly had the brilliant idea to clarify with him that he was not allowed to tell anyone (nothing like restriction to ruin a moment) and obviously this rule doesn't apply to me. After I said that, he surprised me by kissing me. And while I don't want to share all details, I do want to say, it was a personal, sweet kiss. And it made me feel special. After that, he laughed a little bit and said, "Dang. Kim and Matt are coming over." I laughed, too. Kim and Matt came over and asked, "So what are ya doin?" And we were all innocent-like when we responded, "Nothin..."

Anyway, there's a little more to the story, but I went up to the cabin with Alice and Melanie last night, so I didn't have phone service. I wonder if I should call Paul. I'm not too worried. But I don't know what this means, but it's exciting! And even though I'm suddenly feeling anxious, I'm very, very happy. :)

The End: ????

(added 1/5/09)

Hello, friends. I'd like to report... this story did indeed turn out to be a simple scamming adventure. Because I'm bipolar. Heh heh.