oh the DRAMA!

Hello everyone! this is my first post since the boy blog has been up and running again. i am so freaking excited and i have much to say.... last summer was boring. altho a certain person we will call J.H. told me he liked me. that all great and everything except for the fact i had no feelings for him whatsoever. he moved on and we stayed best friends until football season when he started dating this cheerleader. it really pissed me off. i started to have feeling for him, or so i thought, so i told him i liked him and he basically dumped the other chick and told me he never stopped liking me. SCORE!!! anyways it was fun and all until a week later when he kissed me and sad to say i felt nothing I REPEAT NOTHING! i feel awful saying this but you know how you feel that great feeling in the pit of your stomach... no that definitely wasn't there. very sad. i tried to ignore it for a while but you can only ignore something like that for so long. when your thinking about how much better this other guy --T.S. -- is at kissing while your kissing your boyfriends and how you would really like to kiss T.S. right now, you know you should probably break up with him... so i did... very sad the next night i hung out with T.S. and he told me he liked me ugh! --- here is the side story this is the same T.S. who has cheated on me dozens of times. --that night we laid on his brothers bed listening to Damien Rice with the lights off... it was so hard not to kiss him! i knew i shouldn't because one i just broke up with J.S. and we were still going threw that "maybe we could work it out" stage although i knew there was no hope. and two i didn't want to give him what he wanted because i knew what was on his mind.

So now i am stuck in this situation. me and J.S. are pretty good although he is still a little bitter because all i told him when i broke up with him was that "i wasn't feeling it anymore" which was true i just didn't tell him i never did. and me and T.S. went to a movie last night and cuddled. what do i do?!?! i cant go back to the loser who has cheated on me a billion times! but what you need to understand is that i have never been so attracted to someone. i don't know if this is normal but i seriously get that feeling in my stomach when i just stand by him... imagion kissing him! it so annoying! well ill let you know what happens next in my pathetic life haha... later

sparklelily

oh and just as an fyi this is the same T.S. who gave me the giant down comforter which i still have haha.... if you forgot look under 2009-march-The breakup ... finally... it will tell the whole story :)