Well, it's been a while... obviously. So here's the run down: PV &J (ironic nickname given by another friend that's a guy) lasted 5 months... with only one break up in there, and we were only broken up for what? 3 days? Anyway....
So during the relationship, everything was great! It was like our hands were like puzzle pieces, they just fit. We'd be able to just sit quietly and yet leave like it was a great conversation. I didn't feel insecure when I was with him because, well.....I was too focused on the fact that I loved and adored him. Yes.... that's right, I loved him. I truly and sincerely believed that I was in love with him. Unfortunately, when you experience such a great high....you've got to come down sometime. So, at the first break up.....
I thought we'd come to clear up some miscommunication or something. I figured our conversation would end on a relationship strengthening note. Ha. nice try Red Tulip, you were wrong yet again. As it turns out, he's here to stab a hidden dagger into your heart, twist it, and then do it over and over again as he tells you he loves you....he's just starting to lust after other girls. "It's nothing you've done! It's all me." Bull. He started crying. Oh my hell, okay so then I start crying. (Don't judge, my heart had just been shattered by a wrecking ball) As my tears slid silently down my face, the sobs started to build up. I couldn't tell if I wanted to stay with him or run as fast as I could, away. I didn't care where, just away from this pain, hurt, and anguish. I chose to stay. Why? Because the one person I wanted to comfort me -tell me it was all going to be okay, and that there are good things coming from this...! -yeah....he was right in front of me. I'd invested everything into this! Never had I put myself out there, no... never had I ever put my heart out there. Well, he comforted me sure... but it was a "we have to be friends. I can't lose you, I still love you." PV &J, do you fetching hear yourself? The sobs broke through the iron barrier I'd set up and I simply snapped. A few more words, and we parted ways.
Never had I ever felt so.... worthless, undesirable, and (I'd really like to swear here, because it seems appropriate....) crappy. These were things I'd never even thought I had a problem with! I was miserable to say the least. To make matters worse, he still called me. I saw the caller ID, and I couldn't not answer, I mean it was him. Him, who I'd let see a side of me no one else had, the person who, with one look could either cheer me up or tear me down. Small talk is really hard to come up with when it's just a ante-conversation for the after-break-up-talk.
Fast forward to 2 days later.
He calls me up, and leaves a voicemail. Something was wrong and I knew that just from his voice, a skill I'd aquired through out the past time that I hadn't even noticed passing. I called him back. He said everything my shriveled up heart wanted to hear. "I still love you, Everything was a mistake, I knew the moment I got in my car...." Words that were left meaningless as I tried to recall them to him a mere month later. We met up at the place we broke up....oh the irony of that spot. He was playing a song on the guitar, a song he'd wrote to express the pain he'd been feeling all weekend. I sat there awkwardly for the first time with him, and I didn't know what to do. He said everything I wanted to hear and more but now was the time.... get back together and relinquish my hold on everything I stood for? (I'm refering to Sparkle Lily's situation with TS. You just don't go back.) or.... wallow in my misery when everything that had made me happy for the past few months was sitting right in front of me. I felt like I needed to think, but the time to answer was now! What do you think I chose? It is after I made my decision that yes, we'll get back together, that he informs me of some of his activities throughout the past few days. Turns out he'd kissed another girl. Mind you, this is the girl he dumped me for? "I just needed someone to talk to, and I couldn't talk to you so...." Bull. Regardless, I must inform you that he lied to me about this multiple times. First story: They didn't kiss. Second story: We just kissed quick twice, it was like kissing a brick wall. Third story: Okay, so it wasn't short, but it wasn't a make out! Fourth, and final story: Yeah, we made out.
Don't ask me why I still went through with it. And no, I wasn't smart enough not to kiss him that day either.
Doesn't matter, because it only lasted another month.....a few days after homecoming. I didn't even cry in front of him that time. He sure did, but I stayed dry. (Same spot PS) And that is the story of PV&J. (Note: he comes from the post on prom in may? I think)
Here's my six word: He cried while breaking my heart.
(I'm putting a six word memoir with every post from now on, just for your information.)
I would also like to note that now he's the one being played by a girl who's currently playing 4 other guys... just saying.... go karma!
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