Getting used to it.

I wish I could agree with you Letters and Lights, but my heart is having some serious trouble finding it's pair...

it's days like these that I wish I could wake up in Disney Land.

dressed up as a princess with converse sneakers.
wearing Mickey Mouse ears.
Eating churros for every meal.
Riding the California-scream-in every day.
Buying Alice in Wonderland stickers and sticking them everywhere.

Anywhere but Utah.
Anywhere but here.

maybe it is meant to be (Drive. no talking. feel lonely. no one in my passenger seat. God, now I know how Ben Gibbard felt when he wrote that song. Breathe. Glance in rearview mirror, no one is following. Grip steering wheel. Wonder why God has put you on this lonely planet. Refrain from tearing self up. Check text messages: none. Breathe. Wonder why God made you so weird that no guy would dare feel attracted to you. Turn right. Call best friend? No. He's out on a date. Get angry. Control. Control... Quench the need to run with thoughts of getting of the freeway and getting the hell out of here. Wonder if God would stop you from doing so. Press gas. Change song. Drum fingers. Signal. Break. Control. Breathe. Hope that someday you will have someone too. Try not to wreck. Check left. Merge. Breathe.) like this.

I feel bad for my friends. i wish they didn't feel so obligated to hook me up.
I could get use to this breathechecksignalcontrolwhyGodwhy kind of life.