My school’s 80’s dance was about a week ago. It is nigh unto impossible to describe how fun it was to get ready for it. Of course, its “funness level” was diminished when two of my best friends - (ahem, Wanda and Ginger), did not dress up. (FYI: “I was just too busy today” translates into “I wouldn’t be caught dead in those yellow spandex or 4-inch bangs”). Wanda's friend Marigold was stranded at the dance until she convinced Wanda to take her to Purple Turtle to meet some other friends who could give her a ride home. I was invited to go with the three lovely girls, and I agreed, naturally forgetting I was the only one in 80’s apparel.
Ginger, Wanda and Marigold. We are talking about three of the most beautiful girls to ever grace the planet with their presence. I’m not just saying that to enhance the story. These girls are seriously intensely gorgeous. And because Marigold is Marigold, her friends waiting at Purple Turtle were boys. Five of them. Excellent.
Luckily for me, I was ignorant of the wonderful situation I was getting myself into. And to add a cherry on top of the delightful outing, we had a confrontation (sort of) with one of my favorite people. Here is that experience: As we jetted over to Purple Turtle in Wanda's adorable little grandma car, a white truck pulled to the left of us. It was, (naturally), full of boys. I have a bad habit of forgetting when I should duck my head to hide my turquoise eyeshadow, so in classic CC style, I shifted my eyes sneakily to the boy in the passenger’s seat of the truck. A moment later, the truck fell behind us, then proceeded to pull to our right side. It was at this point when we could see the driver, who was such a darling gentleman, he flipped us off. A car full of, with the exception of the hag in the backseat wearing 80’s garb, beautiful girls. Why did he do that? Because it was Jaun Madly. Always a pleasure, Jaun, always a pleasure.
I was still tripping a little bit by the time we arrived at Purple Turtle, which is possibly why I got out of the car with Ginger, Wanda and Marigold. As I stood next to the lovely purple restaurant, shivering, waiting for Aubrey to get in the boy’s car so we could leave, I realized something that immediately brought a smile to my face.
Whenever I see a group of boys, especially where the majority of them are obviously attractive, I pick out the cutest. By pure, sick instinct, I also pick out the less attractive among them, or to be quite frank, “the ugly ones.” Well, if boys are anything like girls, which they aren’t, then I had just been dubbed “the ugly one.” I told Ginger my thoughts, and Ginger, being Ginger, hit me and told me I was ridiculous. I continued to tell her that it was okay, the only reason an unattractive boy hangs out with attractive boys is because he’s the funny one. Maybe the boys in the car had just dubbed me the funny one! Which might explain why I was dressed in 80’s vintage! As I frequently remind my more attractive friends, “Not all of us can get by on good looks.” And as my mom used to always remind me, “Hope springs eternal.” (What does that even mean, mom? I used to think it was in reference to the season, like, I hope spring lasts forever. Since then, I have realized that is not likely).
Moral of the story: Don't hang around people more attractive than you. CC, you MORON.
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