History Repeats Itself

I'm not sure whether I'm just skeptical, unforgiving, or both. But apparently this famous essayist and publisher, Norman Cousins, agrees with me. "History is a vast early warning system."

History repeats itself. Different years and different zip codes, but same stories.

This applies to people also. People live in patterns. Why do you think our religion is based around a book that tells the story of the pride cycle? (Then tells it again and again and again...)

You don't have to learn the hard way... AGAIN. Learn from past mistakes.

P.S. Don't sleep over at boy's houses!!!

(added 1/5/09)

I would like to take back what I said about sleeping over at boy's houses. I mean, it's still a bad idea, but I have to take it back so I'm not a hypocrite.

Rainbow's Opinion About Cycling

My opinion with the whole Swede thing is that he'll probably go back into the same cycle. I feel negative and stuff but I believe that's the truth.

My boy things... hmmm. I slept at a guy's house Friday night. WEIRD!!! Nothing bad happened. Don't worry. It was just one of those things I guess. But he was cute and made it not weird (as un-weird as it possibly could be.)

Swede's Cycle

I'm not sure I've really got any vital information to share. I just haven't posted for the longest time... So I should try to think of something right? Boys... Boys?? It seems that there is only one boy that has managed to make himself a permanent fixture in my mind.

Swede... He went from awkward, to funny, to sweet, to manipulative and angry and depressed, to suicidal and psycho and scary and irrational, to non-existent in my life, to acquaintance-like, to friendly and sorry, to sane and reasonable and semi-sweet (sounds like a chocolate chip...).

Now what. Every bit of my past experience leads directly to the conclusion that we are never to be more than very casual friends on occasion. So why is it that when he gets too close or, like that one really weird time at Moose's house, he put his arms around me (yikes!) my stomach drops (you know, like on a roller coaster. or maybe more like an elevator...). The obvious answer is to continue chanting my ever-relevant motto "It's just hormones. It's just hormones" over and over in my mind and to practically ignore the issue all together.

Of course now I'm wondering what the issue really is. He doesn't want me to be his girlfriend... I guess I'm just nervous to get in too deep again. Nervous that he'll revert to that seemingly permanent state of mind, where he contemplates suicide and feels like everyone hates him and tries to manipulate me, that scares me so much. At the moment he seems completely rational and very nearly sane. And I feel like his mother when I say he's made a ton of terrific progress. In fact I feel like we're on great terms right now. In fact I'm pretty sure I really wouldn't mind having him as a fairly close guy friend. I can handle that can't I? Or the bigger question, can he?

CC and Freckles Talk Boys

CC: I hate that he pretends to not know me.

Freckles: I don't have anything to say.

CC: Why can't I talk to boys?

Freckles: I don't have anything to say.

CC: I hate it when boys are touchy. I think.

Freckles: I don't have anything to say.

The Real Freckles: I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY!!