I hope you're having a wonderful day. No, I really do. I hope you're laughing and talking and being your charming self. I liked talking to you today. I mean, the sentences I said that made sense when I wasn't feeling too anxious to form and verbalize a rational sentence. Not that I'm really worried you think I'm stupid. I know you're dumb. How do I know that, you ask? You're a boy, that's how. Amid other things I know about you. Irrelevant.
I sort of like you. Want to get to know you. Woo hoo! CC Lemon has yet another crush! It doesn't take long, does it? But I'm not sure it matters. I mean, my crushes are always only one-sided. I'm not sure that will ever change. Not that I'm an old maid already, but I was thinking and I realized that all my chances at having a healthy relationship went out the window the second my mom left - the one person who is genetically programmed to love me - GONE.
I'm sorry. That was probably too heavy for a mere acquaintance to hear.
On top of that... I'm moving in a month. I barely have time to do homework and watch the newest episode of Gossip Girl, let alone pine after my newest crush. Even if I did have time, my number one New Year's goal is: NO PINING! Do you see all the dilemmas I face?
But I dared to let myself hope for a second that maybe you want to get to know me better, too. Stupid, stupid CC! Because you're going to be just like the last guy and the guy before him. I pine, I snap, I leave, you ignore. I might be wrong. But I haven't been wrong yet. I'm just throwing that out there.
Something, I'm going to take the weekend to mentally run through our inevitable non-relationship all the way to the end. I'll see you in class in a few days.
Sincerely,
CC Lemondrop
P.S. No boy could ever be better than this Turkey Ranch and Swiss sandwich I'm eating...
Dear CC,
ReplyDeleteI believe you are being unnecessarily pessimistic and self sabatoging. While you know I love you, you have GOT to learn to be OPEN to the POSSIBILITY of a healthy relationship. Nothing good is ever going to happen to you in the boy world if you keep focusing on making sure it doesn't. Put yourself out there; you might get hurt, but you can handle it. You might find happiness, and you can handle that too.
~Alice Child
Just an update on Something that I find to be hilarious. We'll call him Rick. Today in class we were listing different ways to get a certain idea across in English. The examples were, "I like doing homework with Rick, Rick and I like doing homework together" etc. I decided to throw my idea out there. "Homework - I LIKE DOING IT WITH RICK!" Everyone laughed. It was embarrassing. I like doing it with Rick? What was I thinking?
ReplyDelete