Rainbow's Decision

CC said it was about time that we use names and not just key words and "this person". So I will try. Landon and I, well more Landon than anyone, decided to just be friends. I didn't want a relationship during the school year (there is more to it but I have to talk to him about it before I say more.) so that made it so we are just friends. So I guess if I think about it it's my fault. Oh well. I'm over it. Have you ever cried so hard that you tingle all over and your lips are quivering and your eyes twitch uncontrollably? That happened to me the other day. Dustin made me feel so bad and I couldn't hold it in. I got out of the numb stage finally. I can cry again. I can't decide whether or not that's a good thing... This kid James, told me he liked me. I have kinda liked him since second semester started last year (10th obviously). I'm really nervous to like him because he likes long relationships and I can't handle them. I don't want him to just stop liking me though :(

Rainbow's Quick Update

I can't go into detail with everything that has happened in the last while. Dustin and I, obviously broke up (I don't think I had made that public yet.) I like quite a few guys I realized now. Darn it. I just can't control it. I would sit here and spill out everything but I have to get off the computer right now. Expect another post in the next few days.

Artificial Relationship

This is sort of random, but as usual I've just been thinking too much. As a result I've come to a conclusion. It's one of those that you make after analyzing a situation for so long you feel you must produce some sort of statement of wisdom. Or maybe just common sense, in my case.

Anyhow. Now for my profound statement of common sense:
If, in any sort of relationship, you cannot be completely honest and have to keep things from anyone in order to create an illusion of yourself, it is an artificial relationship.

Ok. So that may also have been one of those statements that have been pushed to the extreme and do not allow for any special situations, but hey, at least someone still posts on this blog.*

*That was a hint ;)

Identity Crisis

Everyone has their labels. Computer nerd, jock, goth, slut etc etc. I have had trouble defining myself with a label. But it had to happen. Of course no one is permitted to label themselves and the responsibility is therefore left to those around them. I was recently forced to meet my doom. The Tease. It was Gerald that took the initiative of labeling me. He must have just realized the truth. I would have warned him, but I didn't know either...

Being a tease seems hopeless. I should try to change right? Right?? What if I don't want to? What if I realize that it's horrible, that I won't have real relationships, and that boys will eventually, as CC puts it, "give up all hope", and I still can't begin to think about changing? What if I'm so lazy, I don't want to put myself through such an exhausting process? Now that I consider it, I don't know how to be anything else.

Freckles' Sad Poem

This poem was written by CC Lemondrop in an e-mail to me. She is a talented individual.

(This is a work of fiction, artistic liberties have been taken and it may contain inside jokes, stories and peanuts.)

Eythan is a funny boy

Who doesn't know what to do.

He likes Freckles and wants her bod

But Rainbow wants him too.

Rainbow is a funny girl

Who likes Eythan dear.

She doesn't want some lame-o crap

But crap isn't a main fear.

Ben is a funny boy

Who Freckles has a thing for.

But he likes Sue, the normal girl

And I can't say much more.

William is a funny boy

Who loves Freckle's true heart.

He'll buy it, steal it, beg and plead,

Just to have a part.

Freckles is a funny girl

With a heart of gold.

She doesn't know how to tell Will

Her heart will not be sold.

Freckles likes a lot of boys,

As friends and lovers and more.

Even though she likes them all,

She's not a dirty bore.

CC is a funny girl

Who wrote this awesome rhyme.

Maybe if you try and try,

You can be like her with time.